Wednesday, June 20, 2018

CHANGE is not the end







We search to find meaning of someone's life and we search for answers to their  existence,  at times, especially during times of loss and grief we look for meaning in into their life to ease our grief. That is the human condition. We search because we think if we can attach value to their life then their life meant something. But of course their life always has meaning.

The fact that we grieve for them suggests that they affected us in some way and we feel a great loss that they no longer walk softly on mother Earth. I have always held the view that the meaning to our life is not measured by how much we have attained throughout our life like money, cars houses, fame, but in the simple joy and happiness we spread to others.  a meaningful chat, a hug, a cup of coffee, sharing a doughnut, or ice cream, it is a collection of moments memories. How they made us FEEL. How they continue to make us feel when we are together and nothing else matters not yesterday not tomorrow not any worries. It's the thought of that person that puts a smile in our hearts.  knowing that we are (were)part of their life. The value of someone's life is in direct relation to what they added to our life.  we are all connected, and death does not separate our connection. It is not the end. It is a continuation of our connection, it just looks different. A wise monk once explained it this way.. When you see a cloud in the sky and it disappears it really has not gone away it has just changed, changed into rain that feeds the sunflower seed, which changes to a fully grown sunflower. It just changes form. It changes to rain, that feeds the tea plant, which changes into a lovely cup of tea that nourishes and gives you a sense of calm and happiness as we sit to enjoy it. It changes, but it does not disappear. As the sun sets, it does not cease to exist, it is still there, and in the morning it will rise, and give energy to the crops, plants and humans. It exist in the smiles of people who are enjoying its rays.  It just changes form.  It is in the lovely flowers in your backyard. It is the trees that are giving you shade. Yes of course all life has meaning and is not tied to distinction. It is in our connection to one another that gives us value and it doesn't disappear when we pass on. The feelings we experience and will continue experiencing as we think about this person lives on.

ALL life has value.  One last thought, I don't like the phrase at least they are no longer suffering. Because as good as the lack of pain is IT IS STILL SAD. When my brother passed it broke my heart, AND true he didn't have pain but it made me so very sad that he is gone. But, I see him all over the place and that gives me happiness and I  know he wants to see me happy, so I see his passing not as a conclusion to his life but a continuation to me, to my happiness just being grateful, just being grateful that he was in my life  as my brother. I see him in the music I listen to which he used to enjoy, which makes me happy, I see him in the eyes of his children and grandchildren. I see him in the skyscrapers in New York where he absolutely had the best time of his life in.  I see him and feel him in the hugs of my son who he adored. All life has meaning, and that meaning resides in the hearts of all the people he impacted in some small way even a smile and memories that brings a smile to our heart and that warm feeling feel good feeling.    God Speed Dan you were LOVED and your life had enormous meaning because you taught people to be patient, accepting, caring and loving. You were a treasure and special man and you will be missed. Everyone who had the good fortune of meeting you carries a small part of you in their heart.  I am honoured to have met you. Thank you Pearl for bringing Dan into this world.