Time Stood Still

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Time stood still  - after my morning meditation, I posted on Instagram (toblogtoday) this …. “The power of intention, tapping into creativity, love, kindness, beauty, and expansion.”

I was looking forward to a visit from a friend I had not seen in years, . My intention was to reconnect with her, by being present and in the moment.  You know you have been in the present moment when a visit that is over four hours long seems like it was only five minutes!

It is one of those visits that, although we haven't talked to each other in a number of years, we picked up exactly where up we left off. There were no awkward moments or silent pauses; only a beautiful flow of energy that actually energized me. We covered a variety of  differed subjects some really sad, and others really funny, and I laughed to a point that tears flowed down my face.  And some of what we talked about was pretty incredible stuff, if anyone were to  eavesdrop on us they would wonder if we were not indeed  transplanted aliens or some kind of awesome witches. It was so amazing be able to talk freely, in a stream of thought fashion and know that the person you are speaking with really gets you.

This morning, when I did my meditation, I had no idea how my day was going to unfold. My intention was to be open and available. It began with the arrival of my beautiful massage therapist Maria, who gave me a very relaxing 90 minute message, and then the lovely Ana arrived. It was as though the time continuum collapsed and the last few Year's dissolved and all that really mattered was that she was here at my door smiling at me. She looked marvelous bright big smile and bearing a gift.  I am grateful to have such a beautiful friend  and  I feel privilege that she decided to spend an afternoon with me.

The power of intention is phenomenal because I did not consciously know how creativity, beauty and love would show up today. And it showed up in the manifestation of Ana! The universe must've known exactly what my spirit needed. Our conversation could be described  as “expansive.”

Carving a moment in time to be fully present with a friend has to be acknowledged as a loving and caring act. Being open to the possibilities this morning without putting any limits on my expectation made a fantastic visit even better than I could have imagined. My attitude of openness made it possible to have a complicated and deep conversation on some very serious topics.

Love can show up at any time in our lives but we have to be ready to receive it when it does and, more importantly, we also have to be able to recognize it. It's these moments in time when you are totally present with the person you are speaking with that love exists.

My favorite quote is one by Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh: “Darling I am here for you.”  If you have the intention to really listen to a person and be in the moment 100% your conversation will be amazing. It gives honor to both  the person listening and the person speaking.  Thank you Ana for being available to me today. Moment by moment, a collection of moments is what makes connections real. Being in the moment is the best and only way to be your authentic self and it is the best gift you can give one another. I forgot how insightful you are.    

    

Two Time Cheater!

You have to read  this  it's nothing like what goes on these days!

I am feeling guilty... but it was a long time coming, and now that I’ve finally taken this step, I can’t stop.   I finally feel satisfied and happy! Everyone agrees that you should end one relationship before starting a new one, but sometimes overlap is the   only thing to do if you're a big chicken, which I am.  Ok before we go further, It’s not what you think.  Really!

Here is the story. I’ve had a housecleaner for many years; first it was on a monthly basis and gradually it became a weekly event.  The best cleaning service I’ve had was when I lived in Edmonton; each week when I got home from work sitting on my kitchen counter was a fresh vase of cut flowers and a small “Thank You” note.  Now who doesn’t want to come home to that?

When I moved to Ottawa I hired a franchised cleaning service.  The job they did was passable something I could tolerate.  But once my hubby moved in it was a different story.   The way he described them was “I think they arrive, sit down with their coffee and cigarettes and watch soaps on TV.  Spraying air freshener as they walk out the door for effect.” 

While I understand that cleaning is subjective I had to agreed with his opinion after seeing a layer of dust under his desk on the wires and cables.  No one should work in a dirty space, so I told him he had to “let them go” which he did while I was at work the following week.  Being new to the job of hubby, he was willing to do anything I asked to make me happy, even the very undesirable task of firing someone. 

I felt weird having someone come clean my house so I would do a little cleaning before the cleaner comes to clean.  Well, that is probably why it took me so long to admit I had a problem because by cleaning before she arrived I really though I was setting an example of how I wanted the cleaning done.  But we had a communication breakdown, well to be honest, she couldn't read my code. While I was under the impression that the light daily cleaning was done by me and the housecleaner would handle the more extensive “Saturday” cleanings, she was thinking how fast can I get out of here.  This, I realized was my mistake, and ignoring it was my second mistake and then waiting so long to do anything about it is the worst mistake of all. 


My first clue should have been when my sister came to visit and said, "you have a housecleaner?" as she proceed to do an extensive cleaning where everything gleamed and sparkled.  Then I began to be more observant of the weekly cleaning and started noticing that many things I though was being done was actually not done.  And still It took a while but eventually I accepted that my house was not messy but really becoming dirty.  Yuk, right!  I finally admitted that something had to be done.  

 

Therefore, I did what any reasonable person would do and hired another housecleaner to come in and do a major cleaning in the kitchen. As it is with any cheating, it just happend one day.  Well that is a lie.  I had to actually search the pile of flyers I received in the mailbox, and fortunately for me, my cleaning lady never throws out anything.  I found one that said the magic words "Will go down on my hands and knees..." , I dialed the number.


Oh, to be sure, I felt guilty.  But on the other hand it also felt good to know that the sparkle was not just on the surface. Then, I did it again!   I didn’t even wait a whole week, I just had to call her back and get her to do her magic in the bedrooms and bathrooms.  The very next day my regular housecleaner was scheduled, I felt so guilty I made sure I wasn’t home when she arrived.

Now, I find myself in a conundrum.  I’m thinking, hmmm, I really want her to do my offices too.  My regular housecleaner is the same person I use to clean our offices and I’ve noticed the cleaning at the office is also suspect.

I know, we should just “let her go”.  But we’ve had a long relationship with her, over 14 years to be exact.  She was once young, quick and as good as this new person who takes prides in her work, but over the years she has let herself go, became complacent and is just going through the motions.  Not even pretending to do a good job.  But after this many years we’ve developed an emotional bond with her and she is dependent on us for the pay.   Thus, for the time being I think for both our sakes it is best that I continue cheating on her.  Not often mind you. 

However, I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a little cheating, because  doing it once or twice, and in my situation maybe more, it still makes it difficult to look the person you're cheating on in the eyes!  And I'm sure she is getting that feeling that someone has been in her territory. There you have it, cheating is bad!  But tell that to my wobbly spineless backbone as it soundly sleeps knowing that the dust bunnies under the bed are no longer.   It occurs to me that maybe my first housecleaner by leaving me flowers and an thank you note was actually thanking me for cleaning the place for them for them all along.  

A Friend Indeed

June 14, 1946-May 18,2011

We first met when I knocked on her door first thing one sunny summer morning, when I was just a teenager.  Whoa!  Big mistake!  That’s when I discovered that she was not a morning person, especially not before her first cup of coffee.  I never made that mistake again.  We became fast friends, and have been friends for over thirty years, in spite of my initial blunder.   

Over the years we have shared many laughs, tears, talks and meals. I can honestly say that we’ve never had a disagreement; she never said anything to me that could be misunderstood or hurtful.  No matter where our lives took us, she has always had a way of making me feel truly special, beautiful and accepted.  If I’ve gained a few pounds she’ll say: "You look great."  And when I say I am on a diet, she'll say: "Don’t lose too much weight."   Always complimenting my hair if we haven’t seen each other in a while, saying: "This suits you so well, what a great haircut."  

She has never driven because of an accident she had while learning to drive. So, I'll pick her up and we’ll have our ‘private girl talks’ at a restaurant.  I enjoy dining with her because she gets immeasurable pleasure from eating.  I never met anyone who adores food like her. I guess, you could describe her as a foodie before the term became popular.  She takes her time eating, delighting in every bite.  She’ll say: “Don’t mind me, I’m a slow eater. Well, I’m more of a picker, I like picking at my food.”  Then she’ll laugh.  Our meals can last several hours.  

We have always enjoyed long talks about everything under the sun. Sometimes, our best discussions have been while she did my nails.  “You have to really get under these cuticles to have healthy nails,” she’ll say.  I agree; after all she has the most amazing natural nails and she has saved me tons of money.  Although she doesn't have any formal education on physiology she has an intuitive skill and can read people like no other. And she dispenses advice to me, often saying: “Listen to me, I know what I’m talking about, just watch.”   She has always been right of course.  She knows.  She knows more than people give her credit. 

I can never really surprise her because when I show up at her door unannounced she’ll say: "I was just thinking about you.  Should I put on some tea?"

She has this uncanny way of knowing what you needed.  When I lived in Edmonton, whenever I was sick I’d go over to her house.  Most people would say: "What are you doing here when you’re sick"? But not Margo. I’d snuggle under the blanket she'd bring to the couch and she’d make me tea and bring me cookies.  She is happiest when she is taking care of somebody.        

If you look for the definition of a ‘true friend’ you’ll find her name in bold.  But you what, in as much as she makes me feel unique, I have a suspicion that I'm not the only one who is lucky enough to be her friend. To be Margo's friend is to be a forever friend.   

Christmas is a Feeling

  Whew, it is Christmas Eve and I survived the month of December intact.

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I traveled to Edmonton on business and then went to Fort McMurray for the pleasure of visiting family in what seems like ages ago but in reality was only a week since.  Every moment was spoken for by someone or by an event or two. 


I took Andrew out of school a couple of days early so he could accompany me to visit family.It is important to me that he sees my elderly mom at least a couple of times a year as she is advancing in age.  Not to mention how much she enjoys seeing him grow.  I spent the whole afternoon visiting my mom and brothers and that made me so very happy.

mama
  

I had an interesting experience while in Edmonton for a Board meeting.  Our chairman, Wilfred, celebrated his 80th birthday a few days prior, knowing this I requested the assistant buy a birthday cake for him.  When the meeting concluded we presented him with a cake, candles a blazing that read, “ Happy 80th Birthday Wilfred” and we all broke out in song. (Well most of us sang, I can’t follow a tune but I mouthed it.)  Wilfred blew out the candles and then sat quietly as we watched.  Then he said that this was his first birthday cake ever!  Andrew asked why, and he responded, because they were poor and he never celebrated his birthday.  No one in his family did.  And throughout his life he never acknowledged his birthday choosing to spend that day as if it were just another ordinary day.  Can you image that? I am a big birthday freak.  It holds so much importance to me because without that special day we would not exist.  The miracle of birth should always be celebrated or at least acknowledged.


And of course, a  visit to my niece and her family for a few hours is a must.  I love visiting her, and I always feel so intensely connected to family when all you have are a few stolen moments far to infrequently. Truly my niece is wonder-woman, really.   What stuck me is how beautifully decorated the house was with all the Christmas trimmings. Being in her home filled me with so much Christmas Spirit I could have curled up by the fireplace and waited for Santa.  No doubt her home will be the first house he pops into on Christmas Eve.


I also had a wonderful bunch at my hotel with my girlfriend and her four beautiful children.  She later wrote, “ I hope it was not too overwhelming” meaning her four children.  But because I come from a large family of 16 the more the merrier, I say. 

 In Fort McMurray we did more visiting.  Really there was not enough time to see everyone.  However, I was fortunate to be there for my sister’s annual sisters Christmas dinner.  This provided me the opportunity to visit with my aunt, cousins, sisters and lady friends all in one sitting.  

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This was too beautiful!
My cousin, Judy, baked me a yummy birthday cake.      

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An amazing party! Thank you Mary, you know how to throw a party.  BTW the mashed potatoes were the best!

For me Christmas is a feeling.  It’s about the feeling we get by spending time with family and friends.  The feeling we get by thinking of others and wanting to make them happy. The lasting feeling when renewing family relationships, old acquaintances, and way too much eating, laughing and merriment.   

Merry Christmas! 

   

A Final Good-bye

Dr. Francis (Frank/Pete) Abbott, April 12,1928 -February 25,2010

Dearest Friend and Neighbor,

Yesterday, February 25, 2010 I was told of your death. It saddens me deeply that you will no longer walk this earth. I admit though, it was not unexpected, after all you have been experiencing considerable problems associated with aging.

In particular, your quality of life in the past year was difficult for you to accept without a fight. Especially because you were someone who was so active throughout life. Mostly, I think, the fact that you had to rely on others for basic assistance for your daily routine made it that much more distressing. Your body was failing, but yet you felt you should still be doing the things you did several months ago. Hell, not just several months ago, but years ago. You talked recently about taking my son canoeing in the summer. You really had a very strong will, and maybe it could have happened. I know it must have been hard to reconcile the two, making living each day more unbearable. But yet you fought a good fight. Your frustration was evident in your eyes even when you didn’t complain.

I am sure you appreciated though that you were able to live in that beautiful place by the Ottawa River for as long as you did. I have many fond memories of sitting in the screened in porch enjoying the river view in your company. So, dear friend, I do understand and appreciate why your home gave you peace and comfort.

I want you to know that you were the best neighbor I could have asked for, kind, gentle, and an amazing conversationalist. As soon as we met you made us feel part of your family. I will cherish the memory of our Sunday dinners and the stories of your adventures from near and afar.

I will always be grateful that you were part of our life. Good bye Friend! (inside joke / He sang this on his answering machine)

What kind of Twitter Bug am I?

On February 1, 2009 I wrote “How Many Friends Do we Need Anyway” the subject is on social networks. At that writing, I was new to Twitter and pondering what part this new tool would play in my life.

I found that people use twitter for a variety of reasons including but not limited to promoting websites, to sell products, to connect with like-minded people, and to spout out random bits of information. This is all good. I like that we live in a society that allows people have the freedom to express and be involve in this media in whatever way they feel comfortable.

Moreover, I like that I can pick and choose who follow my tweets. Generally the people I allow to following my tweets are people who I would in “real life” like to meet. What I am looking for in their tweets is authenticity and something that reveals a bit about them. I also like to read tweets that provide links that lead me to subjects that interests me. Although, I have been known to pick a random person because of something they have posted and follow that for a bit just to see what type of pearl they may expose.

I am less concerned about how many followers I have but rather how many people I can have conversations with that relate to our shared interest. I see my tweets as links connecting a conversation that happen overtime, and my intent is to have these conversations as though we are sitting across from each other drinking tea.