July 2015 Alberta Trip

Last week I traveled to Alberta. It was a mixture of business, adventure and a solemn goodbye to a lovely and dear family member.

I had an amazing time visiting with some family and friends.

I visited with my mom in the extended care at Fort McMurray hospital. She didn’t recognize me at first, which didn’t bother me because I have enough memory for the both of us.  After the second visit she did recognize me and gave me a sweet kiss.

I also got to hang out with my brother Rossi.  He is doing better and has moved into his own place. Thank you, Wood Buffalo Municipality, in particular, Angela, who went over and beyond to ensure Rossi was settled into his place.  With the help of professional support I hope he will continue to improve and regain the use of his right arm.  Try doing things with just one arm, it is really difficult. 

An impromptu road trip with my sister, her husband, and my cousin, on the winter road to Fort Chipewyan Alberta is one I won't forget anytime soon. OMG the winter road in the summer is an adventure to say the least!!! The road was sandy, hilly and bumpy as all hell.  The bumps and dips in the road, I was told, are from the all terrain vehicles that are on the road throughout the summer.

Lorraine Albert

When we reached the secondary road to the cabin there were many felled trees on the road but fortunately for us, my sister’s husband, was prepared and had his power-saw with him.

In the end, the view was worth the drive... 

Annually there is a pilgrimage to Lac St. Anne, Alberta.  The pilgrimage has a long tradition where many first Nations peoples from the north venture each summer in mid July to pray and meet with friends from other communities they have not seen all year. My mom would attend each year until she was too old to travel.

Elders from Fort Chipewyan!

This year, I was fortunate enough to meet some of the elders before they headed south. Arrangements are made by the two first Nation bands from my community to transport elders from the community to Lac Saint Anne. The elders are well taken care of while on the pilgrimage. They are set up in trailers and their meals are prepared for them. Volunteers attend to their needs ensuring they have water, tea, or coffee throughout the day.  

Black Joe never ages!

Super Granny!

Then I traveled back to Edmonton to attend the funeral services and reception for my sister-in-law Dawn.  It was so sad. She and my brother had been together for almost 34 years.  They were high school sweethearts.  I will miss Dawn’s good nature and sweet smile. 

Although, it was nice to see some family members and to catch up, too bad it had to be under difficult circumstances.  

And, I finally got to spend the night at my wonderful niece’s house,  before she sells it. lol  I slept in the "Paris room", ooh la la! 

WHAT IS YOURS

Every Living Thing 

in 

the world 

has 

a 

PURPOSE 

The Flip-Side of Life is DEATH

I sat in the radiance of the full-moon feeling insignificant and introspective one evening. In this state of being, I began to pondered these questions:

• What is life's purpose?
•  What is our true purpose? 
•  Does life's purpose change over time?

Our life on earth begins with our first breath and each subsequent breath sustains our life.

When we are faced with the unexpected, like  a death, perhaps a loss of someone close, we become acutely aware of how life is so very precious and delicate. Death is literally one breath away. 

I've been searching for the meaning of life ever since the first person in my life died, my grandmother. One day she was living and the next day she no longer walked on this beautiful earth. When I was hit with the realization that I would no longer hear her voice and see her smile, oh, how I cried and could not understand how she could be gone just like that. What meaning did her life hold, I thought, as my tears flowed. What is the purpose of loving someone and then having them snatched away? Why do we have to go through this pain?

Since then I have experienced more loss and each time I go through the same cycle of grief and bewilderment. What does it all mean?

Thinking of death fills me with equal amounts of fear and fascination. The fear is because I don't like to think about death and the finality of it all. On some level I think if I think about it, death will be conjured up. I choose instead to think that my love ones will live forever. 

But on the other hand, I am also fascinated by the questions of death. It is after all a natural part of life. Do we have a soul? Where does our soul (if we have one) go when they die? Is time and space blurred when we die? Why do we still feel the essence of someone after they die? 

Honestly, we don't want to think about it, do we.  Most of us don't even want to say the word, died. We use euphemisms like "passed away" or "no longer with us".  life is consumed with routine activities of survival, eat, work, play, love, and sleep, which leaves little space to think about the nasty subject of death.  Essentially, we avoid it as much as possible.  

But death is unavoidable. Then someone we love dies and we are forced to deal with it.  Our reality is forever changed and sometimes it can take a long time to come to terms with the loss. In the haze of our grief and uncertainty we begin to think more deeply about our human existence. 

The flip side of living is death. How can you be fully alive if you don't look at death? Indeed,  as we can become more aware of how vulnerable life is, there is no question we will appreciate it more and the people in our life. 
Thus, we become alive. We want life to matter. We want meaning. We feel more deeply. We're more attentive to the ones we love. We say "I love You".  

However, this stage can be brief and when the grief has passed, we go back to going through the motions again. Back to our daily routine and back to living without being fully alive. On the whole, we are satisfied to go through the motions of living without being fully conscience. 

Under the defused light of the full moon and feeling inconsequential, with a zillion thoughts and emotions competing for space in my mind, nothing comes close to answering the question of life's purpose. Perhaps there are no answers. I've intentionally left out any discussion on religion and how religions explain the notion of death because we really don't know, do we? 

"Death the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace, and whose refuge is for all - 

the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved."  Mark Twain  

MY MAGNIFICENT LIFE: A Dene' Warrior

MY MAGNIFICENT LIFE: A Dene' Warrior

I wrote that blog post linked above more than twenty years ago after my dad died.  Thinking of him on Father's Day.  

Could You Live Here?

Ottawa River
Serenity Now!!!

Are you contemplating buying property? Maybe you are downsizing and searching for not just a home but also a little slice of a dream. I have just what you need in this Canadian waterfront property. It is situated only 15 minutes west of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and perfectly positioned on the Ottawa River. You’d get the best of both worlds, city life and all that it offers and the serenity of countryside living.

Feast your eyes on simply the most spectacular display of magnificent sunrise and sunsets. Silence broken only by the intermittent songs of birds. Missing is the noise of traffic, ambulance or police sirens.  Deer, wild turkey and other wildlife still meander the property. This is nothing short of paradise.

Sometimes when I am hanging out by the koi pond and waterfall, all by my lonesome, it feels like I am the only person in the world. It is an ideal place for meditation and reflection especially next to the waterfall and koi pond. Although, it is not so isolated that you don’t have access to the Internet or pizza delivery. lol

If you work in Kanata or Ottawa, the drive provides you with enough time to wash away your stress and as you approach the road leading to the house you’ll notice the weight of the workday fade. Really, you can’t buy therapy that works this well.

You'll look forward to coming home and won't want to leave once you get there. 

Your playground is the river. Swimming, sailing, kayaking, and canoeing are only steps to the beach.  Or maybe you just want to hang out on the hammock and read with the soothing sound of the waves against the shore. Summer evenings are perfect for roasting marshmallow on the fire by the shore and watching the sun set.

 

And since I live next door. Unlike the city where you may live in the same house for years and never know your neighbours, here you will have the perfect balance of knowing all of us in the neighbourhood and you’ll still have ample privacy. 

So, what do you think, do you want a slice of paradise or what? For more information contact me! 

We can't Remain Silent!

WE ALLOW CORRUPTION AND ABUSE  

TO CONTINUE WITH OUR SILENCE

It takes a Village 

to 

Stop 

Abuse

I had some difficulty writing this blog post and like most of my posts the topic is often a subject that has preoccupied me for some time. In this post I blog about the behaviour of some elected leaders towards band members, our reaction to it, and the broader context of First Nation governance. You might recognise your own community in what I write, but I am writing about my community.

Fort Chipewyan, Alberta

You may or may not know Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. The community I come from is a combination of Metis, Cree, Densuline, and non- native people. It is one of the oldest settlements in Alberta. It is not a reserve (lands set aside for First Nations) but there are parcels of reserve lands owned by the Mikisew Cree First Nation within the hamlet. My First Nation, Athabasca Chipewyan First Nation, has reserve lands but no one lives on the reserve.  This is what makes our community unique from most other.

 

For the most part, our lives are interlaced into a tapestry that connects us through our kinships. I see it as a delicate dance to maintain balance between personal, politics and work.  If you work in the band office or one of the band owned companies your boss is likely the Chief and Council. In fact, there are few businesses in Fort Chipewyan that are not owned by one of the First Nations. This can create an interesting community profile and at the same time an opportunity for abuse of power because most employment in both is at the whim of a few people. This opportunity does not always lead to an actual abuse of power, but it does happen.

Hence, the best-kept secret in many First Nation communities is the concentration of power and, in some, the unabated abuse of power. In a small and tightly knit community, where everyone knows your name (LOL), there are simply no secrets.  But ironically as far as anyone is concerned our lips are sealed.

For over two years I feel as if I have been a lone voice for the members advocating and encouraging members to ask the difficult (but necessary) questions of our leaders.

I started out with the objective of assisting the Chief and Council by adding to their communications capacity on behalf of my extended family and to pay back for what my family has received as educational and other assistance over the years.  I identified a key shortcoming, the lack of good information about the First Nation’s governance and economic ventures.  I thought that my efforts would be welcomed, especially by a Chief who had campaigned on a platform of openness and greater transparency. But I was wrong.

Nuhëyatié “our voice”

My independent newsletter, blog and my postings on other social media platforms provide an outlet for members. Many members are contacting me directly to share issues and concerns and I sense their dissatisfaction with the status quo. But in spite of the raised awareness and pressure for more information there has been unequivocally no evidence of any progress towards transparency and accountability.  We are just as much in the dark as we ever were.

We have governance that is cloaked in secrecy and hidden agendas, which masquerades as looking out for our best interest. It is becoming clear that the only interest being looked after is the interest of a very few people.  Even worse, our First Nation is currently involved in court proceedings due to their refusal to follow the First Nations Financial Transparency Act, asserting that it is a right not to be transparent or accountable. How much will this cost our band?

Fort Chipewyan, Alberta

Furthermore, there are rumoured stories circulating in the community of possible misconduct that sadly appear not to be isolated. Here I must be vague because like I said these are rumours and no one has yet come forward to report these incidents to the RCMP. But people believe that where there is smoke, you will find fire, especially where a community operates in rumours and secrets and there is no open communication. What surprises me is there is no public outrage from the community at large for an investigation into these rumours. To be sure there are quiet rumblings and indignation but business continues as “normal”. community silence is not uncommon. one has to be pretty brave to speak up, and even more courageous to take action to stop abuse.  however, when you look back at the historical trauma experienced by first Nations at the hands of the colonizers it is no wonder silence has continued for generations.  it is an aspect of colonization and being brainwashed by religion and the shackles of residential schools continue to bind us generations later. 

Is it that our expectations of our leaders and ourselves is so low that we assume that this is a normal way of living? Why do we carry on as “business as usual” while remaining silent when we learn of improprieties? that is a rhetorical question because of course there is no other way to behave  after experiencing trauma of loss  of  our lands, language, culture.  in order to move pass the trauma we must recognize it.  

Moreover, in a culture of fear, intimidation and silence, even if you believe it, you are emotionally paralyzed to do anything about it. This is particularly true if the victim is in some way dependent on the person in power. Herein lies the problem because work, personal relations and politics are knitted together and there is no avoiding it, short of moving. And not everyone can leave the community. The only real solution is to eradicate it by holding people accountable for their actions. And  that is not an easy thing to do. 

We should never underestimate the destructive nature of abuse of power. When someone exploits his or her position of power it is a criminal act. The onus must be placed on the person in power to ensure that no abuse has occurred, and that no laws have been breached.

For the rest of us, if we remain silent and pretend that nothing happened, our complacency is condoning the action and this makes us a party to a conspiracy to protect the abuser and to deny support to the victim. The cycle of abuse of power will continue.  Abusers or would-be abusers will seek power, not those who would seek to serve the community interest.  A toxic culture of abuse of power permeates everything and will often draw others into the cycle. Without people willing to turn a blind eye or to support this culture of abuse it would lose its power. It is time we break the cycle of mistreatment and abuse of power. It has to start in our communities.

However, the problem is systemic and is deeply rooted and requires extreme measures to eliminate. It’s like putting on a clean pair of socks before washing your feet. The stink is still there and before you know it your clean socks are smelly too. You can change the leaders, but if we don’t change our expectation as members and demand accountability, this will likely continue with the next set of leaders.

In order to be rid of this culture of abuse we have to start from the beginning and overhaul how we administer our band governance. The paternalistic policies drafted by agents of Indian and Northern Affairs in the early sixties are outdated and must be expunged. We have to take control and responsibility of our governance. The key to good governance is to have a strong Election Code, Executive and Administrative Acts, including a Code of Ethics.  All members should be aware and approve these instruments. There must be without exception clear lines of reporting back to the community with tough guidelines and consequences in place for any breaches.

More importantly, we must change our mindset and not look the other way when we learn that one of our elected break our laws. We owe it to ourselves, our children, our grandchildren, to not allow the elected to act with impunity. If you have been a victim of a crime or possible crime you must report it to the RCMP and have them investigate it. At some point we must draw upon what we know to be the right thing to do, and do it with determination, integrity and honor.  We are not alone, together our voice can be stronger. 

This is our legacy.

Perhaps our time has come to Stand up against fear.

I’d like to think so.