Happy International Women's Day

I wrote this tribute to my sisters in 2013 http://thedestinywithin.blogspot.ca/2013/10/we-are-who-we-because-of-mom.html

It's a Muscle / 21 DAyS of GrAtiTUde

On January 15, 2016, I challenged myself to write about being grateful over 100 days, which I will be posting weekly. These last 7 days, I really had to make a concerted effort on some days to appreciate and be grateful. This exercise is like a muscle that needs to be exercised. I have learnt that no matter what is going on in my life, there are always grateful moments that are just waiting to be noticed.   

Day 15

I am grateful for oil.

I called my oil company to let them know that my house temperature was dropping. The serviceman insisted that I was not due for an oil delivery.  I suggested that he send someone to check the furnace. He did. And guess what? No oil in the tank! Oil has been delivered. Now my house is toasty warm again. J  #grateful

Day 16

I am grateful that I live in a place where I know my neighbors. It is important to feel safe and secure in your home and good neighbours help foster that feeling.

I am grateful that I l know my neighbours' names.  I Am fortunate that my neighbours are also friends and are very much like family. #family #neighbors #countrylife 

Day 17

I am grateful for a sister who called me at that perfect moment.  There is nothing I cherish more than family and their support. It is a blessing to have family who brightens your day when you hear the sound of their voice.  Like wise, it is heartbreaking to watch a family member go down a destructive path of self-harm.

However, it is important that we acknowledge that we have no control on how others choose to behave and the only control we truly have is how we react to them.  It does not mean you don’t love them. Because loving someone is knowing the difference between caring and enabling.  Accepting that only they are responsible for their actions.  At the end of the day, they hold all the power to make the right choice.  I didn’t fully appreciate this concept until now.  #alcoholism #dependency #power #family

Day 18

I am grateful for a lazy weekend when I can take time for self-care. I gave my feet a mini detox soak.

Some very, very, warm water, Epsom salts, and lavender essential oil. Soaked for 30 minutes.  It did more than make my feet soft and pretty.  It also reduced stress, flushes toxins, and made me feel so relaxed.  When I was done, I applied coconut oil on my feet, put on warm socks, and settled into some reading. 

This was so good that I am going to do it more frequently. #Thankful #content #selfcare

Day 19

I am grateful for the friends who show up in my life. Like, Carol who always knows the exact thing to say to me when I am dealing with a situation.   I think she has a wisdom chess filled with the perfect tools for every situation whether it applies to humans or animals. 

What she said to me recently on family dynamics was insightful and I want to share it with you. I paraphrase.

When dealing with family, it is complicated. However, we should acknowledge that in spite of our concerns and angst, it is no accident that whatever a person is going through, it is exactly where they are meant to be in their infinite journey. It is their sacred gift yet to be revealed to them in a realization and reAwakening.  And it is our love for them that elevates them to their higher self as they travel through the Souls School lesson. 

Day 20

My aunt Marie

Nature has an abundance of natural remedies for almost all that ails us. Since an older sister was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago, I have been researching and teaching myself about holistic modalities. Starting with eating healthy whole foods and eliminating process foods from the diet.

I was raised in an environment that accessed nature’s medicines, which gave me a predisposition to instinctively know that this was the right path of Inquiry. I have opened my mind and my heart to listen for wisdom, and thankfully I don’t have to look further than my older sisters.

On one occasion, my beautiful sister-in-law Hazel, mentioned she had amazing results from a common weed, the dandelion. Apparently she and others she knew used dandelions to treat eczema. It also can be used for a number of other homeopathic purposes.

Normally, I don’t recommend things I have not tried myself but it in this instance I took my sister-in-law on her word. Over a year ago, I recommended it to a friend, her young children 3 and 5 years old at the time suffered from severe eczema. The doctor treated them with cortisone and steroid creams, but she was concern about its long-term effects. She said she would try using the dandelions because as she put it, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain if it worked. Yesterday, I asked her how the children were doing, and she was really excited to tell me that the dandelion treatment worked. She said she used it only three or four times over the course of a week. And since then her children have not had any recurrence of eczema.

I am grateful to have wise older women in my life who share their wisdom with me.#nature #homeopathic #sisters

Day 21

I am grateful to be able to find time in my day to enJoy tea.We should all have a happy place!

Drinking tea for me is a ritual, a ceremony, and it is also meditative. It is not to be drunk quickly but savored. When you are relaxed and sipping the tea you can appreciate the full spectrum of flavors and aromas of the tea.  If you are a tea lover like me, you know, I am talking about JOY. #rituals #mediation #JOY #happyplace 

NO ONE KNOWS YOU LIKE YOUR SISTERS

  SISTERS 

Left to Right Dora,Rose,Liz,Me,Mary,Annie

 I read somewhere that before we are born we pick our family. And Boy,  did I ever pick  a phenomenal group of sisters. 

I am grateful to have five beautiful sisters.  I am the youngest.  Each day I appreciate their virtues and special attributes more.  They are all so different from one another, with different styles, different views on life, and different dispositions.  But one thing they all have in common is love, strength and tenacity. Each of them is teaching me insightful life lessons.

My sisters are beautiful, courageous, and loving.

LIZ

Lisa, Norma Jean,Maggie,Liz

My oldest sister is Liz.  She is lovely and youthful even as she begins her 80th decade on earth.  

When I think of her the first words that come to mind is that Liz loves life.  She enjoys herself, and dances like there is no tomorrow.  She values being around people, after all she is a social person and loves to have fun. She is enjoying being around her youngest grandchildren, and they keep her on her toes.  

I don't remember having any serious conversations with her.  Perhaps it’s our age difference, and that she left home when I was very young. But that doesn’t mean I don’t learn from her.  She is old school. The lessons I take from her are to enjoy life, walk as much as you can.  Don't worry about things out of your control. She is a person who exudes life, and always looks so beautiful. Her late husband was 16 years her junior and had a difficult time keeping up with her. 

In  fall 2019, she suffered a stroke which, left her to relearn how to walk again. 
 while in the hospital, she  fell and broke her hip, this set her back a bit,  but didn't stop her.She has tenacity, and the will to live, she put everything into her therapy, and put one foot in front of the other continued to heal and get stronger.   She is a strong determined woman. 

DORA

MS DORA

 Darling  Dora is strong cultural Dene woman.  . And she is  a damn good cook! The image that comes to mind is of a wise and intuitive person. She has knowledge about the traditional medicinal use of plants. Knows the best teas and their benefits.   

From her I continue to learn about dreams, plants, and stories of my childhood.  When  I was younger she would  take me visiting with her. She is a traditional story teller. And she is courageous, humorous, and has the sweetest  giggle.    

She asked me one day when I was six: “Do you want to go to school?”  All my brothers and sisters had already gone to school. I was so excited to go too.  I said: “Yes!!” She said: “Get your coat on and let’s go.” 

I will always remember our walk to the residential boarding school. 

She was the cook at residence so I saw her all the time. When we were home from school, she often told us ghost stories in the dark before bed. I remember listening to her stories, and she would rhythmically move her feet while she told the story, when she stopped moving, I knew was scary part  was coming.  

Whether she knows it or not, she is the most similar of all of us to our Mom.  She is happiest when younger grandchildren are around her. And she is comfortable having a house full of boys, with their crazy energy and laughter. She is fluent and in Dene.

ANNIE

Sweet adorable Annie, is the sister who never fails to give me the biggest smile and the tightest hug when greeting me. “I Love you my baby sister,” she says as she squeezes me tight. When I think of Annie, I think, this small person can move mountains with sheer determination.She is fluent and in Dene.

She is a practical woman, a person who is a problem solver and one way or another she gets what she wants. She taught  Denesuline language for many years. She continues to teach me the value of speaking our language and how it connects us to who we are.

She is very well known in Fort Chipewyan and loved by everyone.  

Sadly, she has early onset dementia.  I told her, don't worry if you forget things, I will always have enough memory for the two of us.   

I have snippets of memories as a child doing things with Annie. getting water, and walking to the lake is a cherish memory. 

My favorite memory was, one summer I spent a couple of weeks at their fish camp.  The most memorable part of that summer was the smell of spruce trees.  We had to lay spruce boughs down inside the floor of our tent. Annie joked about getting a new carpet every week. I also remember the long sandy beach, the warmth of the  shallow water, and the stories around the campfire. That was a great summer.

she had a tent like this 

MARY

MS MARY in NYC 

Genuinely beautiful inside and out like her  radiant smile.   When I think about Mary my heart swells so big with love.  She is caring, loving, and is always available to help others.  She has a heart of gold. She is sensible, thoughtful, and has a strong sensibility. Oh, by the way she is a fantastic Scrabble, and cribbage player too.

She is the sister I  had the most time with growing up having lived with her for a few years in my teens. She teaches me everyday to be caring, to be aware of people’s weakness and vulnerabilities.   She also teaches me to persevere, to work hard, and to be tenacious. And when you’re cleaning house, the sinks should always shine! We nickname her Mary-Running-Water because when she is housecleaning she leaves the sink tap water running. And  if you are having dinner at her house, you better watch out, because  she will take your plate thinking you're done eating to wash it. 

Her incredible strength helped her deal with losing everything she owned when she and her husband's house burnt down in the wild fires in Fort McMurray in May of 2016. She has picked up the pieces of her life and is building a new life for herself and her husband. A new city and a new house.  She is navigating these changes with grace.  

The time I spend with her is precious. We have accumulated many hours talking about all sorts of stuff. She has especially given me many insights into people’s addictions. She having been an addictions counsellor for a period in her life.  She absolutely loves 60's She is fluent and in Dene.music.  

ROSE

Darling Rose is beautiful, easygoing and physically strong.  She has a strong mind and no one can tell her what to do. A retired teacher. She is also smart, sensitive and funny.  She has a contagious laugh, I can't tell you how many times she has made me laugh.  She is an activist, fighting for the environment, and against injustices against the First Nations peoples.
  

I admire her strength. She is a survivor.  Life has not been easy for her but she has a strong inner strength. She kicked breast cancer’s butt and complication from it! 

I have nicknamed her Rambling-Rose because she can't seem to stay in one place and is always on the road.  Crisscrossing Canada more times than I can count. 

Her teachings to me are to stay strong and never to give up the fight for the underdog. Don't worry about what others think, as long as you're doing the right thing. Just as  important, she has a gift to write, which I keep encouraging her to do.  I even created a blog for her, she has to get back to it and do some blogging. One day I hope to see her publish a book. 

My sisters are providing me with invaluable life lessons.  We don’t get to see each other often but when we do get together, their stories and laughter sustain me for months, the sub text is we love and support one another. No matter our differences we will always encourage and support each other in a loving way. She is fluent and in Dene.

Liz, me, Mary, and our mama!

Mama 

Our gifts, we can thank our Mom for passing them on to us. All my sisters speak our indigenous language, we can thank mom for that.  In our journey our connection to one another is our mom.  Indeed, our relationship with our mom influences who we became as adults and how we relate to one another. 

Coming from a large family it is only natural that we all have a different relationship with our mom.  However, the important thing to remember is that our mom, no matter what, did her best for us based on what she had at the time and has made us stronger women.     

I could not have picked a better mom or set of sisters!  

Suspended Fragments of Summer

Misty fog on the Ottawa River

It’s the last weekend in August and although summer doesn’t officially end for a few more weeks, this weekend always feels like summer is over. Like when you're almost at the end of a great book, you want to know what happens, but still would like the story to linger longer. I can feel the leaves changing, the north wind sneaking up, and fall just waiting to pounce at the first chance the sun is hidden behind the clouds. But I must remain present, in the now, so to speak. 

Over the summer, I managed to learn new things about myself.

 

Dinner night before!

July 1^st our 15 year old son embarked on an adventure at Laval University, in Quebec City, for five weeks of French immersion.  I knew that I’d miss him, and worried about how he would cope without us.  Particularly, since he would be immersed in a completely foreign language.  We stayed the night instead of driving back to Ottawa at a the hotel minutes from the university. I could not go to sleep until he sent me a text saying that he was in his dorm. I continued to wait for that last text of the day every night in July. 

 

August 2, in front of his residence

As the weeks went by and he seemed to be enjoying himself, I realized that letting him go this summer was the best thing for him.  I was proud of both of us, him for going without a fuss and me for following through and letting him go. It afforded him the opportunity to experience life separate from his parents.  Learning and meeting new situations directly and coming out at the end of the day surer of himself.

 

Almost immediately I was alone, I had to experience being by myself because hubby was away on business for the first week in July.  Learning to be comfortable being alone was strange.  Learning to accept that I could not control everything in my son’s life was even more difficult. That was biggest learning for me, letting go.  On August 2nd we picked him up. He looked taller, although somewhat thiner, but I could tell straight away  that he had matured. 

In mid July, I received a text from one of my sisters who was experiencing a critical health issue.  I wrote about it here. An unexpected surprise was a brief visit with my lovely island girls, who delivered the wonderful life saving cold-pressed juices from The People's Juicery. 

  

Rose & Mary Tofino, BC

The lesson from this trip was experiencing how very essential being there for someone is to their healing. The saying, laughter heals, is so true. Seeing it transform and brighten my sister's eyes was wonderfully encouraging. I am so grateful to be able to spend that time with two of my sisters.  We took a day trip to Tofino, BC. I had a great time driving the narrow and twisting highway. I mean, I REALLY, enjoyed it, what a thrill. I only wished I had my own car instead of a rental. 

Mama 

Hubby suggested that since I was already out west, I ought to go back to Alberta with my sister Mary to visit with our mom in Fort McMurray.  I did, and I am so glad that I did. My mom is living in an extended care facility. 

The most important thing I learnt about myself was that I have a bottomless cup of compassion where my mom is concerned. What a blessing to be able to visit with her. Living 2500 miles away makes it difficult to see her as often as I'd like. I don’t know what it is about an elderly parent, but they touch your soul with such pureness and wisdom.  And you feel that when they look at you, they SEE you. When you look into their eyes you can see all that was and all that is yet to be.  I have so much gratitude and love for my beautiful mama. 

The balance of the summer is a beautiful blur, working, reading books, Weeding Playing in the garden, meditation, swimming, and basically enjoying the serenity that comes with feeling totally blessed.   

Ottawa River