NO ONE KNOWS YOU LIKE YOUR SISTERS

  SISTERS 

Left to Right Dora,Rose,Liz,Me,Mary,Annie

 I read somewhere that before we are born we pick our family. And Boy,  did I ever pick  a phenomenal group of sisters. 

I am grateful to have five beautiful sisters.  I am the youngest.  Each day I appreciate their virtues and special attributes more.  They are all so different from one another, with different styles, different views on life, and different dispositions.  But one thing they all have in common is love, strength and tenacity. Each of them is teaching me insightful life lessons.

My sisters are beautiful, courageous, and loving.

LIZ

Lisa, Norma Jean,Maggie,Liz

My oldest sister is Liz.  She is lovely and youthful even as she begins her 80th decade on earth.  

When I think of her the first words that come to mind is that Liz loves life.  She enjoys herself, and dances like there is no tomorrow.  She values being around people, after all she is a social person and loves to have fun. She is enjoying being around her youngest grandchildren, and they keep her on her toes.  

I don't remember having any serious conversations with her.  Perhaps it’s our age difference, and that she left home when I was very young. But that doesn’t mean I don’t learn from her.  She is old school. The lessons I take from her are to enjoy life, walk as much as you can.  Don't worry about things out of your control. She is a person who exudes life, and always looks so beautiful. Her late husband was 16 years her junior and had a difficult time keeping up with her. 

In  fall 2019, she suffered a stroke which, left her to relearn how to walk again. 
 while in the hospital, she  fell and broke her hip, this set her back a bit,  but didn't stop her.She has tenacity, and the will to live, she put everything into her therapy, and put one foot in front of the other continued to heal and get stronger.   She is a strong determined woman. 

DORA

MS DORA

 Darling  Dora is strong cultural Dene woman.  . And she is  a damn good cook! The image that comes to mind is of a wise and intuitive person. She has knowledge about the traditional medicinal use of plants. Knows the best teas and their benefits.   

From her I continue to learn about dreams, plants, and stories of my childhood.  When  I was younger she would  take me visiting with her. She is a traditional story teller. And she is courageous, humorous, and has the sweetest  giggle.    

She asked me one day when I was six: “Do you want to go to school?”  All my brothers and sisters had already gone to school. I was so excited to go too.  I said: “Yes!!” She said: “Get your coat on and let’s go.” 

I will always remember our walk to the residential boarding school. 

She was the cook at residence so I saw her all the time. When we were home from school, she often told us ghost stories in the dark before bed. I remember listening to her stories, and she would rhythmically move her feet while she told the story, when she stopped moving, I knew was scary part  was coming.  

Whether she knows it or not, she is the most similar of all of us to our Mom.  She is happiest when younger grandchildren are around her. And she is comfortable having a house full of boys, with their crazy energy and laughter. She is fluent and in Dene.

ANNIE

Sweet adorable Annie, is the sister who never fails to give me the biggest smile and the tightest hug when greeting me. “I Love you my baby sister,” she says as she squeezes me tight. When I think of Annie, I think, this small person can move mountains with sheer determination.She is fluent and in Dene.

She is a practical woman, a person who is a problem solver and one way or another she gets what she wants. She taught  Denesuline language for many years. She continues to teach me the value of speaking our language and how it connects us to who we are.

She is very well known in Fort Chipewyan and loved by everyone.  

Sadly, she has early onset dementia.  I told her, don't worry if you forget things, I will always have enough memory for the two of us.   

I have snippets of memories as a child doing things with Annie. getting water, and walking to the lake is a cherish memory. 

My favorite memory was, one summer I spent a couple of weeks at their fish camp.  The most memorable part of that summer was the smell of spruce trees.  We had to lay spruce boughs down inside the floor of our tent. Annie joked about getting a new carpet every week. I also remember the long sandy beach, the warmth of the  shallow water, and the stories around the campfire. That was a great summer.

she had a tent like this 

MARY

MS MARY in NYC 

Genuinely beautiful inside and out like her  radiant smile.   When I think about Mary my heart swells so big with love.  She is caring, loving, and is always available to help others.  She has a heart of gold. She is sensible, thoughtful, and has a strong sensibility. Oh, by the way she is a fantastic Scrabble, and cribbage player too.

She is the sister I  had the most time with growing up having lived with her for a few years in my teens. She teaches me everyday to be caring, to be aware of people’s weakness and vulnerabilities.   She also teaches me to persevere, to work hard, and to be tenacious. And when you’re cleaning house, the sinks should always shine! We nickname her Mary-Running-Water because when she is housecleaning she leaves the sink tap water running. And  if you are having dinner at her house, you better watch out, because  she will take your plate thinking you're done eating to wash it. 

Her incredible strength helped her deal with losing everything she owned when she and her husband's house burnt down in the wild fires in Fort McMurray in May of 2016. She has picked up the pieces of her life and is building a new life for herself and her husband. A new city and a new house.  She is navigating these changes with grace.  

The time I spend with her is precious. We have accumulated many hours talking about all sorts of stuff. She has especially given me many insights into people’s addictions. She having been an addictions counsellor for a period in her life.  She absolutely loves 60's She is fluent and in Dene.music.  

ROSE

Darling Rose is beautiful, easygoing and physically strong.  She has a strong mind and no one can tell her what to do. A retired teacher. She is also smart, sensitive and funny.  She has a contagious laugh, I can't tell you how many times she has made me laugh.  She is an activist, fighting for the environment, and against injustices against the First Nations peoples.
  

I admire her strength. She is a survivor.  Life has not been easy for her but she has a strong inner strength. She kicked breast cancer’s butt and complication from it! 

I have nicknamed her Rambling-Rose because she can't seem to stay in one place and is always on the road.  Crisscrossing Canada more times than I can count. 

Her teachings to me are to stay strong and never to give up the fight for the underdog. Don't worry about what others think, as long as you're doing the right thing. Just as  important, she has a gift to write, which I keep encouraging her to do.  I even created a blog for her, she has to get back to it and do some blogging. One day I hope to see her publish a book. 

My sisters are providing me with invaluable life lessons.  We don’t get to see each other often but when we do get together, their stories and laughter sustain me for months, the sub text is we love and support one another. No matter our differences we will always encourage and support each other in a loving way. She is fluent and in Dene.

Liz, me, Mary, and our mama!

Mama 

Our gifts, we can thank our Mom for passing them on to us. All my sisters speak our indigenous language, we can thank mom for that.  In our journey our connection to one another is our mom.  Indeed, our relationship with our mom influences who we became as adults and how we relate to one another. 

Coming from a large family it is only natural that we all have a different relationship with our mom.  However, the important thing to remember is that our mom, no matter what, did her best for us based on what she had at the time and has made us stronger women.     

I could not have picked a better mom or set of sisters!  

The Love of $$$ is out of balance with LIFE

I am from this community,  Fort Chipewyan, Alberta.  When I was younger, the water level of Lake Athabasca was high, fish and fur bearing animals were plentiful.  We had a simple life, with the only access into the community being by air or boat in the summer. Then in the 70's, the oil industry took hold and never let go.  Life changed. You know what, this type of manmade destruction is non discriminatory, really.  It cares not if you're first nations, white, black, rich, poor, live far or near.  

Watch this video: Oil Sands Vs. Life   DON'T Skip this documentary, please.  A birth of a child took place at this 'Healing Walk' so, maybe there is HOPE. 

The oil industry is here to stay, but you have to mitigate the damages. 

There has to be balance. We must adjust with the times moving forward.  As with all decisions we make as parents, we must have balance. Sometimes we don't have a choice, not everyone can leave.  However, we do have a choice of what we put into our body. More effort should be on how to live a healthy life, without excess drinking, without smoking, and please stop eating junk food. And get more exercise and take time to enjoy what we do have. 

Suspended Fragments of Summer

Misty fog on the Ottawa River

It’s the last weekend in August and although summer doesn’t officially end for a few more weeks, this weekend always feels like summer is over. Like when you're almost at the end of a great book, you want to know what happens, but still would like the story to linger longer. I can feel the leaves changing, the north wind sneaking up, and fall just waiting to pounce at the first chance the sun is hidden behind the clouds. But I must remain present, in the now, so to speak. 

Over the summer, I managed to learn new things about myself.

 

Dinner night before!

July 1^st our 15 year old son embarked on an adventure at Laval University, in Quebec City, for five weeks of French immersion.  I knew that I’d miss him, and worried about how he would cope without us.  Particularly, since he would be immersed in a completely foreign language.  We stayed the night instead of driving back to Ottawa at a the hotel minutes from the university. I could not go to sleep until he sent me a text saying that he was in his dorm. I continued to wait for that last text of the day every night in July. 

 

August 2, in front of his residence

As the weeks went by and he seemed to be enjoying himself, I realized that letting him go this summer was the best thing for him.  I was proud of both of us, him for going without a fuss and me for following through and letting him go. It afforded him the opportunity to experience life separate from his parents.  Learning and meeting new situations directly and coming out at the end of the day surer of himself.

 

Almost immediately I was alone, I had to experience being by myself because hubby was away on business for the first week in July.  Learning to be comfortable being alone was strange.  Learning to accept that I could not control everything in my son’s life was even more difficult. That was biggest learning for me, letting go.  On August 2nd we picked him up. He looked taller, although somewhat thiner, but I could tell straight away  that he had matured. 

In mid July, I received a text from one of my sisters who was experiencing a critical health issue.  I wrote about it here. An unexpected surprise was a brief visit with my lovely island girls, who delivered the wonderful life saving cold-pressed juices from The People's Juicery. 

  

Rose & Mary Tofino, BC

The lesson from this trip was experiencing how very essential being there for someone is to their healing. The saying, laughter heals, is so true. Seeing it transform and brighten my sister's eyes was wonderfully encouraging. I am so grateful to be able to spend that time with two of my sisters.  We took a day trip to Tofino, BC. I had a great time driving the narrow and twisting highway. I mean, I REALLY, enjoyed it, what a thrill. I only wished I had my own car instead of a rental. 

Mama 

Hubby suggested that since I was already out west, I ought to go back to Alberta with my sister Mary to visit with our mom in Fort McMurray.  I did, and I am so glad that I did. My mom is living in an extended care facility. 

The most important thing I learnt about myself was that I have a bottomless cup of compassion where my mom is concerned. What a blessing to be able to visit with her. Living 2500 miles away makes it difficult to see her as often as I'd like. I don’t know what it is about an elderly parent, but they touch your soul with such pureness and wisdom.  And you feel that when they look at you, they SEE you. When you look into their eyes you can see all that was and all that is yet to be.  I have so much gratitude and love for my beautiful mama. 

The balance of the summer is a beautiful blur, working, reading books, Weeding Playing in the garden, meditation, swimming, and basically enjoying the serenity that comes with feeling totally blessed.   

Ottawa River

Eyes on You

We all enjoy the privilege of posting and uploading whatever we like on a variety of social media sites.  Indeed, social networking is a 21st century passion for people the world over.  In fact, there is no shortage of ways to showcase our whims to the masses, be it by using Twitter, Facebook, Vine, Tumblr, Google+, Pinterest, and in blogs.   Technology created ways to keep in touch with families, friends, and like-minded people like never before. Within seconds, we can upload something for the world to see, comment, or share. All is good with our world as long as we’re connected.

 

But do we have any responsibility to our “readers” friends, and family?  Should we think ahead about what impact our posts might have on others?  Are we at all concerned about the message are we sending? Do we know what we post is a reflection of our integrity, values and beliefs?  And, more importantly, do you know what you post can stay on these sites even when you delete it?  Yes, it does, because you can bet that someone has it on his or her computer. 

It is my belief that we behave on these sites as we do in “real life”.  So if we swear, use drugs and drink excessively, or act provocatively and immaturely outside of social media, it shows up there as well.  And so where's the harm, you might ask.  After all it’s just your life, right?  

Wrong.  More people than you think see your comments and posts, unless you have absolute control of your audience.  By the way, even setting privacy setting does not give absolute control once it's posted on the internet.  

Some comments from Facebook;  

• If you see something in your newsfeed that you don't like, just hide the post, seriously that's all you have to do instead of whining about people swearing.
• One must not assume all Facebook buddies will remain as buddies. No apologies to those haters and deletists offended with my posts.  
• Facebookers, please no profanity on my facebook, no talk about your sex life, gossip, booze, drugs or gangster talk or else I will delete you.... I have young children as facebook buddies...have some respect.
•  I like to keep my pages absolutely G rated!! Not only for my kids - but for me too.    
• If I got it, I will flaunt it! If you don’t like it, too bad! Delete yourself.

My comment on this picture below was deleted shortly after I posted it.  But because it was on my computer, I am able to post it here, after I removed the names of the people. 

It was this picture posted recently that started me thinking that our behaviour as seen on social networks, will unequivocally impact others.  And is a direct reflection on character.  This picture posted by her parents, says it's okay to drink. And, finally it's legal! Never mind how the abuse of alcohol has impacted this particular family. I know this picture is supposed to be lighthearted but given their relationship with alcohol, it only gave me a heavy heart. It's like they gave up the fight, flung their arms in the air and said, she going to drink, so whatever.  And any impressionable young person on their friends, and friends of friends lists gets the message as clear as the picture. 

That said, it appears that people still view social media sites as something that is private and personal like it's there own private journal.  You know these site were not built for the user, it's designed for commercial use. They make no money from you, so I ask you, who is their target? But that's a separate topic for another day.  Let’s be clear there is nothing private and personal if it’s on a social network site! By definition. 

Awhile ago I re-posted this status update on my Facebook page, it is from a close friend after the loss of members in our community;

“The recent tragic losses in our community due to alcohol have been heavy on my heart. What can I as an individual do to raise awareness about the abuse of alcohol and drugs, which contributes to violence, accidents and even deaths?

Well, I've decided to embark on a campaign on Facebook by commenting on any of my friends and family's Facebook status that mention anything related to alcohol, drugs or violence from now on; this is to show our young people who are on Facebook that many of the comments made on Facebook about being drunk, going to parties, taking drugs and any kind of violent acts are not acceptable, not funny and often lead to disastrous outcomes. If I am deleted from your friends' list because of my anti-alcohol and drug comments, I'm okay with that.

I encourage you to join this campaign in the memory of our loved ones who we recently lost due to alcohol or drug abuse. You can start by POSTING this as your status update and begin commenting against alcohol, drugs and violence for a healthier community.”

These social network sites are rather new still and norms are being created as we transition to this new way of expressing ourselves. Having said that, we must be responsible for what we post because once it is released on the internet, it's a done deal.  And you never know, whose eyes are reading it and how that information will impact him or her.  

Outside his Comfort

Our kitchen sink faucet was leaking, and every time I used it, I would be drenched.  It basically needed to be replaced, so I went to Home Hardware and bought a new faucet. I placed it on the counter next to the sink.

It didn't take hubby long to get the hint, he being a smart guy and all.

 There was a lot of cussing and grumbling and more grumbling.  Water was leaking and spraying all over him and onto the kitchen floor.  "I hate this!" he kept muttering under his breath.  He needed a new part, so off he went to buy it.  He returned with the required part and a new attitude.  He said, I am doing this without any drama.

Wait for it... drum roll!

He did!!!

Sometimes, even a lawyer can keep his cool under the sink, dripping wet.  Who needs a plumber when you have a handy guy around the house who takes a step outside his comfort zone to please his wife. :)

Extraordinary Surprises

Vancouver Island, BC

I just returned from a whirlwind trip to Vancouver Island. It didn’t start off as a pleasure trip.

 

It began with a startling text message from my sister, Rose, who was in an extremely perilous health condition.  Having just been informed by her internist that she was at risk of dying because her liver was not working.  I acted quickly and emailed another sister, Mary, the subject line of my email was “road trip?” 

Without hesitation she responded by booking her flight, and we agreed to meet in Victoria, BC and drive up together for the 3-hour drive to Port Alberni where our sister was hospitalized.  We had no idea what we would be seeing when we got there, but you can imagine that our thoughts were rapidly creating all sorts of scenarios, and, all of them grave. I even packed black clothes in case the trip ended with a funeral.

Not letting the seriousness of the situation get us down, we decided not to tell our sister we were coming to visit her.  I think, partly because we didn’t want to draw too much attention to the seriousness of her situation, and partly because in my family we always love to surprise one another.

That morning in Victoria, BC, I texted Rose to let her know that I was going on a weekend drive, and my sister Mary also texted her saying she was going for a drive.  Both of us live about 2500 miles apart, so we hoped she wouldn’t connect the dots.  Hee, hee, hee!!!

When we got close to the hospital we sent another text, mine stated: "Done my drive, now I will be visiting.  Love you."   Mary’s text was “Thinking of you sis, and feeling so close to you.”  She responded to Mary’s text saying, “discomfort by the bloating.”  Mary texted back, “You need a distraction!”

 

Within minutes after the last text we were in her room.  She was nowhere to be found; we looked around the ward and then went back to her room.  She was in the bathroom. Whew!  We drew the curtains around her bed and waited, and when she moved the curtain back she saw us.  Her eyes were as big as saucers, and her smile lit up the room.

Mary on left, Rose on right

 

But she was horribly yellow with jaundice, which made the whites of her eyes a yellowish colour, the likes of which I’ve never seen before.  The results of her blood tests indicated that she was close to succumbing to a coma. My heart sank, knowing that she was indeed in a very critical condition. However, it was encouraging to see that she was walking of her own accord and eating.  She was placed on a low protein diet.

When I saw her dinner, I must say I was not surprised, but still I could not believe what she was served on her “special diet”.  On her tray were battered fried fish, mashed potatoes, waterlogged vegetables, canned fruit cocktail, and a glass of milk.  I could only describe the food as dead.   The food had been prepared in Toronto, all the way across the country, frozen, and then thawed on the west coast, where there is no shortage of fresh fish and other nutritious local foods.  I know all hospital food is frozen then reheated at the hospitals. This is a cost saving method at the expense of the patient’s health when they most require nutrient for healing.

Fortunately, I was in a position to provide Rose with fresh pressed juices from The People's Juicery in Vancouver, BC.  She had ten 16 oz. bottles of cold-pressed juice, enough for two days.  She immediately went on a two-day juice fast, drinking water in between the life-giving green juices.

 

Rose after I cut her hair with her bottle of
cold-pressed juice from The People's Juicery

After two days of drinking cold-pressed green juices, Rose’s blood test showed a great improvement and her doctor was astonished at the change in their readings. She was discharged from hospital a couple of days later.

Food is indeed medicine! If I had any reservations before this, they are certainly dismissed now.  Although, I admit that the fact that we, and other people, who prayed and who visited her also gave her healing energy that help in the healing process. 

We left our sister light-hearted, knowing that she was healing in an extraordinary and natural fashion. A trip that began ominously, ended with laughter, and a promise of a brighter future for Rose.  It's important to remember what we put into our body becomes us, so, eat whole living foods.  It's never too late to adjust your taste buds towards a healthier diet.  :)