February 14th is fast approaching. Love it or hate, it is a day reserved for romance. A day lovers, unless they want to be sent with their pillow and blanket to sleep on the couch, are planning that perfect Hallmark evening.
Right off the start, I have to tell you I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Call me killjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love roses, chocolates, and being wined and dined, but not if it is out of obligation. I don’t think my husband should be reminded or pressured to be romantic.
I said to my husband, when we first married that I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, so save your money. But I also said, being the considerate person that I am, if he did, or was expecting something from me, I would be pleased to get him something special to recognize how special he is to me. After all, just because I didn’t want anything, does not mean he should go without.
A good relationship is about communicating with your partner your expectations clearly without mixed messages. When I say I don’t celebrate this day, I mean it. I’m not secretly hoping he surprises me with some sort of romantic gesture, or buys me flowers and chocolate. Hmmmm I love chocolate!
Oh, I digress. Romantic gestures I believe ought to be heartfelt and sincere, but most of all spontaneous. Otherwise, how romantic can they really be anyway?
However, those everyday things we do for one another are pretty darn special. I never have to put dishes in the dishwasher after a meal. The garbage and daily newspapers magically disappear, and I’m not sure where it goes. Gadgets, iMac computers, iPods, ebooks, headphones, wand scanners and all manner of wonderful gadgets appear in brown paper wrapping in the mail. Sometimes it is for him, and sometimes for me.
My computer is always updated with the most recent programs. My iPod is always filled with more applications than I know how to use. As good as a Mac is, I know it doesn't do this on its own. When I travel, my iPod playlist is waiting with music that makes me smile knowing he selected it specifically for my listening pleasure. Occasionally, I get in my car and the gas is topped up, and washed. And who walks the dog in the cold dark late night? Not me!
What I enjoy the most is when he cooks for me, not much in his repertoire, but I think having a meal prepared for you is one of the most romantic things a person can do for you.
The really big thing though, is the TV room. Although the TV room was designed by him for him, he always lets me watch what I want, even if there is a game on. That is some special gesture! However, I suspect he really wants me there. Why else would he buy a massage chair, and place it the best viewing space especially for me!
Meanwhile, for those of you who are celebrating Valentine’s Day, have a wonderful time. I’ll be spending the evening at home with my family. It might be nice to nibble on chocolates while I catch up on movies while getting a massage in my special chair. Or maybe, I’ll let my husband catch up on Battlestar Galactica, or Lost, I don’t know, is there a hockey game on?
Happy Valentine’s Day all!
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