28 years ago I met a man I had a crush on in person at a law conference in Ottawa.
My crush on him started a couple years prior to us actually meeting each other. I read a couple of speeches he wrote for the then Attorney General of Ontario, Roy McMurtry. in addition, I also read a number of legal opinions he had written on treaty and aboriginal rights. To clarify, I had a crush on his brain, his intellect. Who is this man? He made complex legal arguments understandable. This said to me that he knew his area of specialty, and he also had a clear and uncluttered mind. As it turned out we knew a number of people in common.
That lucky day in Ottawa, we spent the whole afternoon getting to know each other after his presentation. Later that evening we had dinner at Sitar, an Indian restaurant with lawyers we both knew, my current boss and a lawyer I worked with before I moved to Ottawa. By the end of the dinner I knew this was the man I wanted to marry. He was intellectually stimulating and we also had chemistry. And although he said he would call he didn't. And we didn't see each other until that fall at a business meeting in Toronto we had.
To be sure, our 28 years of marriage had its challenges, but nothing we couldn't overcome. Not long after our marriage Alan drafted the beginnings of a novel. It described eerily perfectly the view of our future house from the river shore, before we even thought of selling my condominium in Ottawa and moving to the country. Recently, after minor changes to his manuscript, I convinced him to go back and complete his novel. I am so excited to see it finally completed and in print.
The reason I believe we can choose the person we fall in love with is because I had a clear vision of who I wanted to spend my life with, someone who is not run by his ego or his profession. Who is intelligent, authentic and has integrity. Alan is all of this and more. In fact, while we were dating I said something to the effect that he was a nice man. He didn't want to be known as "nice." I think he wanted to be described as a wild man!
I am grateful to have met and married such a beautiful wild man who knows me like no one else in the world. He is my best friend. Happy anniversary darling. I am so blessed you said yes when I proposed, and when you were ready I said yes when you proposed.
November 11,1992
2 comments:
I remember that conference. I had been wrestling with the idea for some years of how to reconcile the right of Aboriginal self-government and the principle that the Crown has a fiduciary duty to them based on their vulnerability to the powers of the Crown. I was presenting a paper on that issue and I was not happy that they put me on first thing in the morning on Saturday when I knew that most of the conference attendees had been out and about on Friday night and would be straggling in over the course of the morning.
As it turned out, I only needed one person to be in the audience and she was there. It was the first time we had met but we had been aware of each other for some time.
I was in a rather banged up emotional state and not in a position to take emotional risks and so it took a number of months to have our first proper date. Eight weeks later we were married. What I recall of those eight weeks includes us watching the Blue Jays winning their first World Series, watching Twin Peaks and a whole lot of driving between Toronto and Ottawa. And the absolute certainty within me that I had found the person I would spend my life with.
So, thank you for the past 28 years as well as however many we have ahead of us. Thank you for your continuing faith in me and pestering me to finish my book(s). Thank you for being my best friend and always having my back.
Love you always.
Alan
A beautiful tribute to Allan and to your marriage Angelina!!
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