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| lisa, Norma Jean, Eldest aunt, Liz |
A RISE TO ADVENTURE
Margaret Ann MacNeill (nee Deranger) 1974 – October 23, 2021
Courage
As a blogger writing about a loved one who has recently passed
is for me always difficult but necessary. It helps me process and keep them alive. I do it thoughtfully, and respectfully. And I don't put it off too long because in our Denesuline
culture, we believe that the dearly departed travel to visit the people they
loved over three days, after their body is separated from their soul, their
spirit embarks on an adventure to visit.
I feel her close as I write this, like she is guiding my heart and my
hand. I hope what I write will come across and people will feel her close to
them as they read this. I made sure I honour and respect her and to call her
by the name by which she wanted to be known, as Maggie. Most of us family in
Canada knew her as Margaret Ann. I totally get it, because when I moved away
from home, I also chose to be called by my second name, Angelina. She was quick to accept that.
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| with her eldest uncle, Peter |
She never let what others thought of her hold her back. I
loved that about her. She was spirited, in other words determined I loved that about
her too. She was athletic and loved
sports. In high school she joined the rowing club.
When she left Canada for Australia, she joined the South Australian police force in Murray Bridge. I remember her telling me it was physically grueling, and about an incident when a male police officer broke her nose during a training exercise. She believed that he did it on purpose. But that didn't stop her. She kept going and graduated from the Academy.
She had determination and when she wanted to do something
she got it done. She didn't do anything in half measures. Maggie loved
completely. I loved her sense of humour and could listen to her laughter for
hours. She had a soft spot for animals, often taking in dogs. When for a time, she worked as a by-law
officer, I remember her sending me pictures of snakes and other animals that I
was petrified to receive. She would just laugh and say: “Nah they won't hurt ya.”
She graced our life in Fort McMurray, Alberta in the summer of
1974, then a small northern oil company town.
As a young child she was feisty. She was very close to her cousins, and particularly
my daughter, growing up together. Their relationship was like siblings. They
fought, and then they made up.
Regularly, they even dressed up in similar outfits, like
twins. Because I lived with her parents,
after I moved away, they spent many holidays together when I went home. They
continued to be in close communication right up until Maggie’s passing this
weekend.
The small town of Fort McMurray could not contain her for
too long. She was meant to share her brightness in the world with others. She
made fast friends wherever she went, a beam of light in darkness. She led the
way for others. By her gregarious nature we were never left questioning her
true loving intention for us. She loved
deeply and completely, and we all felt it deeply.
She was kind, thoughtful and compassionate. Our schedules meant that we often talked early
in the morning, in my time. In one of
our early morning calls she asked me if I read a book she was reading. She knew I was a meditator and followed
Buddhism. I said, absolutely, I have it right here on my shelf. She couldn't believe we both had the same book. And we shared a laugh together. I think it
made us feel closer to be holding the same book title.
Her young life had to end so tragically and abruptly. It is a
challenge to grasp, why a beautiful soul would be taken from us. I thought we would have so many more
conversations, and laughter. We all do because we avoid the elephant in the
room and seldom talk about death. When Maggie
and I ended our calls, she always said she loved me, and I would tell her I
loved her more.
What gives me solace in this tragedy is knowing she lived
life on her own terms to the end, and she embraced her adventures fully with enthusiasm.
The last time I saw her in person was in Melbourne in 2008 when we went to the
movie Australia shortly after it was released. She invited me to this
movie even though she had already by that time had seen it three times, but she
wanted to experience it with me. After
the movie when we talked on the phone, she would say “I sing you to me. Which
meant come visit me, a line from the movie.
I am very sad; at the same time, I have a desire to give meaning
to her death. It's difficult when
someone passes and there is regret, things unsaid. Her death is a poignant
reminder to all of us of the fragility of life and how suddenly it can end. There
is no guarantee that we will have an opportunity to fix relationships that have
gone off course. Since her passing I
have had a couple of conversations with people and have implored them to repair
their relationships with people still walking this journey with us. I hope my words aren’t falling on deaf ears.
Maggie, you made the world brighter for everyone who knew you I promise to be available to your sons to help guide them when they ask and if they need someone to be a compassionate listener, I will be there for them. I am so proud to be your aunt, you have made me proud by your accomplishments, your integrity, and your authenticity. Until we meet again… I am a proud aunty. You lived true to yourself, a jem. :)
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| Maggie and sons |
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| Maggie and Lisa, Norma Jean, Liz |
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| Maggie and Granddaughter. |
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| Lisa ,Allen, |
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| Maggie and eldest son, Chris |
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| Daniel, and Nantan |
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| With her mom, Mary |
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| with partner, Tom |
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