2018 REFLECTIONS Recovery, And Creating Community

traditional Nisgá foods

As each year approaches the year end, it has been my practice to reflect on the year that has passed. 

2018 has been both challenging and rewarding for me.  The beginning of the year is mostly a blur because I spent huge part of it in hospital following surgery and a stroke. What that experience has taught me is the value of slowing down, taking notice of each moment and being completely present.  It provided me with an opportunity to look at life from a different perspective.  AND as a result I started investigating, reading and listening to podcasts on neurology and executive functioning of the brain and how it connects with other areas of our body. I marvel at our biology and how our body is designed to survive. Our nervous system, our digestive system, our cardiovascular system; they all totally fascinate me.

I found that my experience (including the loss of certain functions I had always taken for granted) lead me to want to be in control of my health and, to do that, I decided to expand my knowledge and to begin learning new things on a subject I knew very little about. Namely, the brain, and more generally health. I viewed this as an exciting opportunity. There have been many times in the past few months that I have begun a sentence by saying, “I have been listening to this podcast”…, or, recently “a book I am reading stated that”…

This learning has also changed some of my core beliefs, such as that you can get the required protein eating an exclusively plant-based diet. The more I researched it, the more evidence I uncovered that this is not entirely correct. Evidence suggests that getting the required protein you must consume so much more than greens. I am sure vegans do not want to hear this. However, each person must do what they believe is right for them, and what is right for them at a given time. I am also a firm believer in neuroplasticity; that the more you learn the more open to learning you become.  

After over 20 years of being a vegetarian I have returned to eating meat, wild meat that is. Interestingly, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be.

My friend, Dr. Wortman,  and member of the online community I created has written a compelling blog about his experience as a vegetarian and the reason he returned to being a meat eater.   you can read it here.  when I was considering doing the same I was concerned that reverting back to eating meat would be difficult, and I send Jay a note and told him I was considering going back to meet,  his response to me Do it!

Some positive effects I noticed early on, is that I sleep more soundly, and have more energy and - best of all - I wake up refreshed. Minor aches and pains disappeared. My memory improved, I can't say if it is related to eating meat or not, because I have been doing other things to improve my memory as well. A couple of months after being discharged from the hospital I noticed that I had some residual foggy brain periods, although in the last several weeks I feel that too has dissipated. I believe my left side neglect has also improved, which was confirmed by my physician.   

Studies have showed that a huge part of having quality life is to engage with others, we are after all social beings, to that end, I have created a community online using the Facebook platform. The thinking behind that for me was that I found social network platforms were superficial at best and lacking in satisfying the need for meaningful connections to others.

I figured that if I wanted a deeper connection then I would have to create one to accommodate my own desire and that of others who are also searching for a deeper connection. I thought of my many friends who are critical thinkers, innovators, thought provokers, who would enjoy being engaged on an intellectual level. After identifying 40 such people I created “We Belong” and currently we have 103 members.  There is a broad selection of professionals in this group, from lawyers, general physicians, MDs, authors, engineers, Buddhist monks, practicing meditators, former First Nation Chiefs, University professors, philosophers, First Nation Elders, film producers, scientists, students, life coaches, artists, counselors, nurses, occupational therapists and dentists.

It has only been a couple of months since I started this community of forward-thinking people. Progress has been slow in that members are still figuring out how to behave, and how to engage one another. However, I am encouraged because I am noticing more and more that our members are opening up more and trusting each other.

At one time a couple of weeks back, I thought of reducing the group down to the 20 or so members thinking it might encourage more conversations, but then I decided that it would be better to allow the process to evolve on its own. 

I am really excited for the possibility to have a community of engaged people who will be game changers in a major way.  The possibilities for this group are unlimited. My long-term vision for the community is to collectively produce ideas and outcomes to improve society as a whole.  Think big! Some of you, I know personally have already had breakthroughs and have made a difference in  communities and the world: I just need you to open up and share it with the rest of us.

On a personal note, we are a family who has taken the step to reduce our environmental footprint by joining the electric car movement.  This is exciting because I no longer feel guilty getting from point A to B, and that feels good. Hubby has blog about it here. http://teslaguy.blogspot.com/2018/12/joining-tesla-movement.html  

I asked this questions of my group. What prompted you to join We Belong? How will you make a difference to our conversation? Everyone in this group has strength in a specific area. Identify your strengths.  Here, I will start:

1.     My “Superpower” is being intuitive and able to teach others to quiet their mind and meditate. I taught meditation at the local Buddhist temple in Dunrobin. Ont.  for 3 years.  

2.   I am able to recognize others’ uniqueness and to encourage them to reveal their best self.

3.     I am able to communicate in a way that makes you  feel I am listening to you. I want you to feel heard.             

Eyes on You

We all enjoy the privilege of posting and uploading whatever we like on a variety of social media sites.  Indeed, social networking is a 21st century passion for people the world over.  In fact, there is no shortage of ways to showcase our whims to the masses, be it by using Twitter, Facebook, Vine, Tumblr, Google+, Pinterest, and in blogs.   Technology created ways to keep in touch with families, friends, and like-minded people like never before. Within seconds, we can upload something for the world to see, comment, or share. All is good with our world as long as we’re connected.

 

But do we have any responsibility to our “readers” friends, and family?  Should we think ahead about what impact our posts might have on others?  Are we at all concerned about the message are we sending? Do we know what we post is a reflection of our integrity, values and beliefs?  And, more importantly, do you know what you post can stay on these sites even when you delete it?  Yes, it does, because you can bet that someone has it on his or her computer. 

It is my belief that we behave on these sites as we do in “real life”.  So if we swear, use drugs and drink excessively, or act provocatively and immaturely outside of social media, it shows up there as well.  And so where's the harm, you might ask.  After all it’s just your life, right?  

Wrong.  More people than you think see your comments and posts, unless you have absolute control of your audience.  By the way, even setting privacy setting does not give absolute control once it's posted on the internet.  

Some comments from Facebook;  

• If you see something in your newsfeed that you don't like, just hide the post, seriously that's all you have to do instead of whining about people swearing.
• One must not assume all Facebook buddies will remain as buddies. No apologies to those haters and deletists offended with my posts.  
• Facebookers, please no profanity on my facebook, no talk about your sex life, gossip, booze, drugs or gangster talk or else I will delete you.... I have young children as facebook buddies...have some respect.
•  I like to keep my pages absolutely G rated!! Not only for my kids - but for me too.    
• If I got it, I will flaunt it! If you don’t like it, too bad! Delete yourself.

My comment on this picture below was deleted shortly after I posted it.  But because it was on my computer, I am able to post it here, after I removed the names of the people. 

It was this picture posted recently that started me thinking that our behaviour as seen on social networks, will unequivocally impact others.  And is a direct reflection on character.  This picture posted by her parents, says it's okay to drink. And, finally it's legal! Never mind how the abuse of alcohol has impacted this particular family. I know this picture is supposed to be lighthearted but given their relationship with alcohol, it only gave me a heavy heart. It's like they gave up the fight, flung their arms in the air and said, she going to drink, so whatever.  And any impressionable young person on their friends, and friends of friends lists gets the message as clear as the picture. 

That said, it appears that people still view social media sites as something that is private and personal like it's there own private journal.  You know these site were not built for the user, it's designed for commercial use. They make no money from you, so I ask you, who is their target? But that's a separate topic for another day.  Let’s be clear there is nothing private and personal if it’s on a social network site! By definition. 

Awhile ago I re-posted this status update on my Facebook page, it is from a close friend after the loss of members in our community;

“The recent tragic losses in our community due to alcohol have been heavy on my heart. What can I as an individual do to raise awareness about the abuse of alcohol and drugs, which contributes to violence, accidents and even deaths?

Well, I've decided to embark on a campaign on Facebook by commenting on any of my friends and family's Facebook status that mention anything related to alcohol, drugs or violence from now on; this is to show our young people who are on Facebook that many of the comments made on Facebook about being drunk, going to parties, taking drugs and any kind of violent acts are not acceptable, not funny and often lead to disastrous outcomes. If I am deleted from your friends' list because of my anti-alcohol and drug comments, I'm okay with that.

I encourage you to join this campaign in the memory of our loved ones who we recently lost due to alcohol or drug abuse. You can start by POSTING this as your status update and begin commenting against alcohol, drugs and violence for a healthier community.”

These social network sites are rather new still and norms are being created as we transition to this new way of expressing ourselves. Having said that, we must be responsible for what we post because once it is released on the internet, it's a done deal.  And you never know, whose eyes are reading it and how that information will impact him or her.  

How Many Friends Do We Need Anyway?

A couple of weeks ago I was listening to Holly, a contestant winner of “Almighty” on a local radio station. She had to undertake a number of tasks to collect $25,000. One of her tasks was to eliminate over 360 friends from her friends list on the social network Facebook and reduce it down to 20. She did it, but at what cost? She got $1,000 to do this task, making her deleted friends worth less than $3.00 each. The question is whether she will keep her friends’ list to the few “real” friends.

This got me thinking: how many friends do we need anyway? People join numerous social networks, Myspace, Facebook, WAYN, and Second Life, to name a few.

I’m not immune to this internet phenomenon, I have a Facebook account, two blogs, and a Twitter account. I’ve helped create Facebook profiles for the techno challenged, and have watched them take baby steps and then leaps and bounds adding friends, applications, photos, all with great confidence. I started my Facebook profile initially to keep in contact with my family members in other cities, and that opened the floodgates to others, long lost friends, old classmates, recent friends and just random people. When I began using Facebook, I made a mental note to myself to keep my friends list to 100 but it is getting increasingly difficult to adhere to it.

I think I need to establish a set of social network friends criteria. Do I set a limit on how large my friends list should be? Do I eliminate people I’ve accepted as friends when more desirable friends ask me to be their friend, and what about family: are they friends for life? Should I explain to friends I’m considering deleting what I’m about to do to them? How do I explain it? How would I characterize and streamline my friends? Should I keep those who are in contact with me on a regular basis, those who seem interested in me personally? What about people who just like to be my friend but never ask me how I am doing, or express any interest after the initial contact? Most of all, in my effort to connect with my friends, my pet peeve is people who don’t answer emails. How many chances do I give them to answer my email before deleting them from my friends list?

What about me? Am I a good friend? I think so. I take interest in my friends, inquiring about their wellbeing, commenting on their wall, emailing them occasionally. But honestly, not all the time. What is the social network friendship protocol? Are these networks really about collecting as many friends as you can? Do they or don’t they operate on the same social rules as “real life” friends? Do other social networks operate on a different basis?

Follow. My new interest is Twitter. I see Twitter surpassing other social networks because it does not require much effort and it is satisfies our need for immediate results. It lets us connect with people who have the same interests, check out their blogs or websites, easy.

It is about networking in a real sense. (see stephen Fry) People you connect with are not called “friends” but rather the relationship is defined as “followers” and “followed.” So what are the rules for relating to your followers? Or those you are following? It can seem like a kind of friendly stalking, but with the consent of the stalked. Or it is possible to remain a “lurker.” Maybe these relationships are more similar to business acquaintance and the more followers the better.

I’ve noticed people can have anywhere in the tens of thousands of followers on Twitter. How do they keep up? Or do they? Do they have an obligation to keep up? The traffic must be an amazing tool for businesses.

Indeed, the world is flat.

How does our affiliation on social networks define who we are?