Showing posts with label year in review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label year in review. Show all posts

Saturday, December 19, 2020

DECEMBER 2020 A BRAVE NEW WORLD AWAITS



 

   Reflection on the Year 2020

No one could have predicted what an epic shift 2020 would deliver   I will not focus on the negative aspects of the year.  Enough of that I say.  I will be focusing on our internal power source. It goes without saying that I am not alone in wanting this year to be over! But at the same time, I am a realist.  At the stroke of midnight on 2021 COVID 19 will still be wreaking havoc.  It will not mysteriously disappear, and we can't pretend otherwise.   That said, it has been my longtime belief that how we deal with adversity builds character. 

I am going to write about how I was able to keep my sanity and gratitude in spite of the loss of seven  immediate family members in this past year alone.  It is all about perspective. 

As we go into the New Year will you behave as you did in 2020?  Are there lessons you have learned? Will you be a better version of yourself?  To answer these questions it is helpful if you reflect back on the year as I am doing now.  Look at what you overcame and how you came out at the end of the year more determined, with more strength and with a clear perspective.  Focus on what you have achieved, not what you have lost. 

When was the moment you first realize that "the new normal" would be a description for something that was anything but normal?  Stupid words sprinkled our everyday life, diminishing our freedom.  Words like "new normal," " pivot," "uncertainty" and "social distancing." WTF! 

Like most of us,  it was in March, and COVID was tightening its grip on the world.  Public places began shutting down. We were asked to socially distance to protect those we love. We adapted to the restrictions, albeit with some resistance.  But on the whole we complied. Eventually, weeks turned into months. Now we are approaching the one year mark.  We had no idea how long it would last.  However, I did know nevertheless that a pandemic was going to change the lives of millions of people globally, and unfortunately some did not make it.  

Let me tell you a story  

I survived a pandemic when I was a  toddler,  In the early 1960s I was personally struck by a different global pandemic, polio.  Although a polio vaccine was developed in 1955, before I was born, I got infected, I suspect because I lived in a northern Indigenous community and I had not yet been vaccinated.  I have little memory of that period  of my life.  Fortunately for me I  recovered.  Like many polio survivors it made me resilient and gave me an indomitable spirit and maybe a little stubbornness, which probably stands me in good stead. :)

From all historical accounts it seems that the  human population is reacting exactly as it did in previous pandemics.  As with COVID, polio was caused by a virus. Panic was all-consuming and because it struck children, and as a result all swimming pools, playgrounds, and schools were closed. Hygiene became important, it was  widely believe that the virus was spread through feces because of unclean hands.  Fear and panic swept across the country's like wildfire.  The World Health Organization rapidly worked to develop a vaccine. It was like today's COVID-19.   Humans are a complicated lot and in previous pandemics we behaved out of fear and panic. 

Speaking of which, much of the same reaction is taking place today.  An avalanche of fear and panic has taken over.  In the earlier pandemic there was a resistance to wearing masks too. And then too, usually well-behaved folks began a frenzied buying spree.  This past year, for some reason toilet paper disappeared off the shelves. This was anything but normal.  The next nine months was like living in a movie  and we were the stars in our own drama. 

As far as I can tell there is no hero to save the day.  Only a malicious character who told unbelievable tales and created division, fear and hatred among everybody including families. The deadliest thing he did was to question the science to address the virus. This will go down in history as the deadliest pandemic to face man.  And the worst possible person was there to mishandle the pandemic.

The American election of 2020 created a much-needed diversion for a short time. it was short-lived diversion, and the countries around the world prepared for more shutdowns and restrictions.  

I did what I usually do I made up my mind to get through this. I had to watch my reaction to what was happening. And to be a cause in my own life. In other words to take action for my own happiness  and sanity.  What helped me is taking  Being a Leader Leadership course at the beginning of the pandemic.  This course provided me the tools to put into action what I already knew, that it is important to do something for others that is bigger than myself. I created and produced a podcast to start a national conversation on the impact of colonization on indigenous peoples. The last podcast was on  Decolonizing Adoption. 

And I registered for courses and, as an enthusiastic reader I read a number of books on challenging historical periods. The first book I read was The Great Influenza an account of the Spanish flu in 1918, The Children of the Holocaust by Helen Epstein, Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl. Frankl's main point is that when one found purpose and meaning to their life it generated happiness and a reason to live and thrive.  These books speak to the triumph over horrific and unspeakable trauma.  Hubby led me to the writing of Italian Holocaust survivor and scientist Primo Levi, what an extraordinary writer!  The common thread that helped people survive and perhaps thrive in these horrific events is their perspective. Frankl's point is when one found purpose and meaning to their life it  went a long way to create happiness and a reason to live.  These accounts speak to triumph over horrific and unspeakable trauma.  It is within all our capacity to overcome  trauma. 

I registered for a couple of courses on compassionate inquiry, how to address trauma in an understanding  and gentle manner.  It made perfect sense to me to start there because as I understood it we were all experiencing collective trauma.   This brings me to our mental health.  How is your mental health?

Having a greater grasp on emotional understanding correlates to increased happiness and satisfaction, along with better management of stress, while a lack of emotional balance has been linked to poor outcomes with physical health issues. The question becomes how can we achieve emotional balance when we don't fully understand what our emotions are telling us.  To that end, I recommend reading Suzanne David's  Emotional Agility, a Wall Street Journal best-selling book.  It describes the psychological skills critical to thriving in times of complexity and change.  Her advice is to not listen to our negative internal chatter.  This can be more difficult than it appears because more often than not it is at an unconscious level. 

As a longtime meditator, I know that you cannot simply tell your mind not to think of stuff.  Our minds are naturally prone to streams of thought.  The primary goal in meditation is to notice when you have started going down a rabbit hole of thoughts and gently bring yourself back to your focus. Most times it is your breath over and over again.   An important skill in meditation I have learned is to accept and not change what is going on internally, to view it with curiosity and to notice it without judgment.  Meditation is a form of mental dexterity. 

To  navigate the pandemic I looked to my Indigenous history for lessons of the past like adaptability.  


to survive one must adapt. This was especially true to people living from the land. Adaptation leads to creativity, growth and survival.  I often reflect on how my Mom who had 16 children did it.  The resilience she must have had.   I manifested my mother's inner strength and resilience and move forward.  My mother lived in a similar tent as in this image when she was first married.  She recounted a story of when she moved into the log cabin my father built just as the first snow was falling. 



2021 may be better, or it could be more of the same.  What will help you through it is to be mindful of how you adapt to whatever may come up.  Humans are survivors.  And no matter what you go through, find gratitude for something in your life even if you don't want to in that moment.  And trust me, life is mysterious and wonderful. You are here for a purpose. Your life will be meaningful, happy even.  Be of service to others.   In DENE law we are each given a life at the time our birth. It is a sacred gift that is given to our parents and grandparents. The happiness you give to others far outweighs any negativity of this pandemic.  We cannot only survive we can absolutely survive and thrive.  Challenging times such as the pandemic can teach us so much about ourselves. It can reveal strengths we didn't know we had.When We emerge from it, we will be stronger, inoculated not only against a virus but all kinds of other  challenges too.

Finally,  my last thoughts on this.  I mistakenly said there were are heros to save the day,  but it goes


without saying it  is important to acknowledge the men and women working in the health profession, nurses doctors, frontline workers. People who in spite of the danger go to work every day so that we can be safe they are the heroes in this pandemic.  Like my lovely niece pediatric nurse,  Presley. 

I leave you with these words:  strength, happiness, gratitude, being blessed, and adaptability.  Let these be your words for 2021.  

Merry Christmas! :) 


Friday, December 29, 2017

Emergence



“I think I will do nothing for a long time but listen,

And accrue what I hear into myself...and let sound contribute toward me.” 



The end of the year is a time for reflection and soul searching. And, the possibility of creating a new you!

As I look back on the year I am touched with how blessed I am. I have shelter, food, my health and people around who love me.  I have purpose and passion.  What more do I need?  There is absolutely nothing that I need.  But I might want the odd material things of comfort, like awesome sheets, which I simply can’t have enough of. LOL

That said, what really matters to me is my relationships and the feelings of connection I have developed with others. It could be a smile, a kind word, or just an acknowledgement that I matter in some way.  As humans, I believe this is what we all desire: a validation that our existence means something to someone and has purpose.

This past year, I’ve witnessed so much sadness and melancholy in others.  I have listened to people who were in their bleakest hour.  I trust that I was able to provide them with the compassion and light they needed to see that they indeed matter to someone.  Really, it is nothing special about me, because anyone can be a conduit to help others. All I have tried to provide was a sliver of hope that their life has meaning.

Social media played a big part in what I was able to do because reading some of the posts truly broke my heart and I reached out to those who looked like they needed someone to hear them. Moreover, living in the east helped because I am normally up when I read some overnight posts from western Canada, where most of my family live. 

The truth is that the real “hurts” often have to do with feelings of being not accepted and misunderstood by our very own family. Whether we admit it or not, what we “think” family “thinks” about us does impact on our wellbeing.

To me it is all about my family.  I have a very large family with plenty of opportunity for drama. I have witnessed acts of kindness, compassion and generosity.  However, I’ve also witnessed how cruel we can be to one another.

Sadly, there are members of my family who have not talked with one another for long periods over some disagreement. Still others are more serious, like disowning one another because of a rumour, which they in many cases have never confirmed to be true. They simply stop acknowledging they are family.  People’s lives have been destroyed and left in shattered pieces by simple rejection. I know that their pain is real.  I am not diminishing it and know it can be complicated.

The only healing for these relationships is the willingness for open communications and the real willingness to forgive.  I know this can be difficult; as Dene, we often avoid bringing up uncomfortable subjects. We give a fake hug or extend a handshake when we gather at family functions, smiling forcefully.  The hurt shows up in subtler ways.  I’ve observed from the sidelines as this damage showed up in how family treat one another.  How their BELIEF is holding them back from a more meaningful relationship.

Fortunately, there is a way that family could let go of the “story” they hold so tightly, even as it shackles them to their pain and keeps family estranged.  First, they must be willing to admit: “I am willing to be open.” And “I admit my belief is not serving me.”

There are always two sides to these “stories” and both can be “true” to each side. In order to avoid perpetuating this pain they must be willing to view it from the other person’s perspective. To do that they must let go of being “right” and to really “hear” each other with compassion and empathy.    

Tell me you don’t want to be a game-changer in 2018, when it could mean restoring a relationship you desired with a family member you might have disowned.

Tell me you don’t want to Stand for creating a remarkable family relationship.  Tell me you don’t want to Stand for knowing that you can release your pain and suffering.  Tell me you don’t want to Let IT go!  Tell me that you don’t want to let go of your BELIEF, which is not serving you.  

I stand in the possibility that you can be a game changer.  What are you waiting for? If you change your attitude you can change your reality.  I dare you to Stand for a healthy and happy relationship with your Dad, mother, sister, brother, nephew, nieces, and cousins.  Believe me, transformation does happen every day.  Stand in the possibility that your relationship can be transformed and I will absolutely support you in that.

Happy New Year! 


Monday, December 29, 2008

2008 in Review from Photos

This is a small representation of my world from photographs taken throughout 2008.


Mount Pakenham


In early 2008 we took several day trips to Mount Pakenham, a modest ski hill about 20 minutes from home. Andrew loves skiing, and he took to the hills like he was born wearing skis (sounds hurtin). On this particular day it was sunny, clear sky, and had the perfect snow conditions.

Andrew enrolled in some ski lessons like last season, which prepared him for the annual week- long ski trip in February to Quebec.

Toronto, Ontario

I always wanted to experience life in medieval times not as a wench, but as a lady. Being wench in any time period would not be fun.

We enjoyed a porthole into what it might have been like at the Medieval Times Dinner in Toronto. The show was entertaining, didn't liked eating with my hands though, seemed barbarian. http://www.torontoplace.com/attractions/medieval.htm

Andrew and his friend Aritz seemed to enjoy the battles as boys always do.

The main reason for the trip to Toronto was to attend a workshop for children with landmark Education. The landmark Forum for Young People (ages 8-12)
http://www.landmarkeducation.com/landmark_forum_for_young_people.jsp
The power to invent new possibilities; courage to face challenges; and freedom to create, grow, and be fully expressed.
At the end of the course, time will convey how the course continues to apply in everyday. Only Andrew can answer if the course empowered him to created new possibilities in leadership. I think it may have...

Before leaving Toronto we made sure to dine with hubby's sister Pearl and Richard at the Beaches. We don't see them often enough, but it is always good to enjoy a meal together now and then.



Catching Up ...It is always wonderful to have family visit. This time it was my brother Max who paid us a brief visit in February on his way up to Sudbury, Ontario, to help this cousin who was undergoing a medical procedure. But not before he demonstrated a few good wrestling holds to Andrew.

Hubby coincidentally ran into his good friend Rupert in Whitehorse, Yukon outside in the parking lot of the hotel. Neither had any idea the other was there and staying at the same hotel.

On his way home, Alan stopped in Vancouver for a brief visit with three gorgeous girls. These beauties came to visit us in August.

Visiting with a friend is bitter sweet when you know they are leaving. We often put off visiting because we are too busy, opting instead to email. It took one of us leaving to finally visit. I so enjoyed my visit with Marlene before she left Ottawa. She did not head to South America where she normally goes (especially in the winter) when she leaves Ottawa, but she packed up her warm underwear and headed to Saskatchewan to study at the University. Crazy girl (not for being a student, but for moving to Saskatchewan).


The summer surprise was visiting with a friend I have not seen for years. I kidnapped Dennis from our mutual friend's wedding last summer and took him home with us. It was wonderful to catch up. Dennis is waiting to hear if he is going to be appointed to the bench. Maybe this year, Dennis!

Many More visitors dropped in to cool off from the summer's heat.


The snow was too deep this year for the Easter bunny, so the hunt was on in the house.
Really, this was in April in Canada. How do we stand it?


Andrew enjoyed time with a school classmate before he went back to China. Patrick accompanied Andrew to his tournament, and Andrew got his blue belt in tae kwon do at his club, Winning Circle. It was great for Andrew to have a cheering section.

http://www.winningcircle.com/WC3/Martial_Arts/Martial_Arts_Main.HTML

Mother's Day


On Mother's day, I was invited to the gazebo (boy's hangout). The men in my life prepared a wonderful brunch fit for a queen. There was tea, bagels, smoked salmon, cheese, fruit, cheesecake, punch, all so delicious. When someone prepares food for you it never fails to please the pallet.

I enjoyed this day because it was relaxing to not be in a crowed impersonal restaurant where we are all herded in and quickly out for the next sitting. Instead, I got to enjoy a leisurely brunch by the river with the men in my life.

Birthdays!


In June Hubby celebrated another Birthday!





I went to Edmonton at the end of September to a birthday party, my brother-in-law, Ron celebrated his 60th!





Andrew turned 11, and partied at a bowling alley in November because we would be in Australia on December 1st where he would celebrate again!









We went to an amazing Brazilian (Churrascaria style) restaurant in Melbourne, Australia with my niece and her sons for my birthday. So why is my cake in front of hubby?

It was great entertainment for the boys, and the food kept coming and coming until we all could not eat one more bite. I of course left room for my desert (What's a birthday without cake?).





Art Show


Andrew teasing his friend Graeme at their Art show.

The wedding of the Summer! (blogged in August)

Awww, summer weddings in its warmth we eagerly bask, inhaling its tender, sweet, fragrance as we frolic lazily among the soft rose petals gleefully unaware of what the future holds. We the guest gladly cheek kissing, hand grabbing, raising our glasses saluting the bride and groom with best intentions. Overwhelmed with spirited emotions of the wedded couple, grinning ear to ear, caught up in the moment.

Unfortunately, sometimes this picture is fractured. Beneath the illusion of blissful happiness was an emotional eruption in the wait, and in the New Year it bubbled like champagne to the surface with terrible consequences.

This is a very intriguing surreal story. Although brief, it was filled with seductiveness, forbiddings, mysticism, and secrets . However interesting, its secrets will remain untold by me.





New Wheels

In the fall I decided to help the cause of GM and buy a new GM. I really like this SRX, and believe me I am totally aware that suvs are not PC. But if you live in the country you must have a dependable four wheel drive car. At least it is not a hummer, right?

It has a GPS, which I've named Sabrina. She is the quintessential Buddhist. Sometimes when I program her to give me directions I don't always take her advice. She tries to get me back to the original direction, trying several times before calmly recalculating based on the rout I've taken. Never using harsh words always patiently, gently, redirecting me to my destination until we've reach it, and ends by saying in that perfect tone "You have arrived at your destination".

I aspire to be just like Sabrina, but alas, I am but human.

Australia

The trip of the year was to Melbourne, Australia. Mixing business with pleasure what a wonderful combination. Can't wait to go back. It was a success, standing room only!



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