“I think I will do nothing for a long time but listen,
And accrue what I hear into myself...and let sound contribute toward me.”
― Walt Whitman,
The end of the year is a time for reflection and soul searching. And, the possibility of creating a new you!
As I look back on the year I am touched with how blessed I am. I have shelter, food, my health and people around who love me. I have purpose and passion. What more do I need? There is absolutely nothing that I need. But I might want the odd material things of comfort, like awesome sheets, which I simply can’t have enough of. LOL
That said, what really matters to me is my relationships and the feelings of connection I have developed with others. It could be a smile, a kind word, or just an acknowledgement that I matter in some way. As humans, I believe this is what we all desire: a validation that our existence means something to someone and has purpose.
This past year, I’ve witnessed so much sadness and melancholy in others. I have listened to people who were in their bleakest hour. I trust that I was able to provide them with the compassion and light they needed to see that they indeed matter to someone. Really, it is nothing special about me, because anyone can be a conduit to help others. All I have tried to provide was a sliver of hope that their life has meaning.
Social media played a big part in what I was able to do because reading some of the posts truly broke my heart and I reached out to those who looked like they needed someone to hear them. Moreover, living in the east helped because I am normally up when I read some overnight posts from western Canada, where most of my family live.
The truth is that the real “hurts” often have to do with feelings of being not accepted and misunderstood by our very own family. Whether we admit it or not, what we “think” family “thinks” about us does impact on our wellbeing.
To me it is all about my family. I have a very large family with plenty of opportunity for drama. I have witnessed acts of kindness, compassion and generosity. However, I’ve also witnessed how cruel we can be to one another.
Sadly, there are members of my family who have not talked with one another for long periods over some disagreement. Still others are more serious, like disowning one another because of a rumour, which they in many cases have never confirmed to be true. They simply stop acknowledging they are family. People’s lives have been destroyed and left in shattered pieces by simple rejection. I know that their pain is real. I am not diminishing it and know it can be complicated.
I know this can be difficult; as Dene, we often avoid bringing up uncomfortable subjects. We give a fake hug or extend a handshake when we gather at family functions, smiling forcefully. The hurt shows up in subtler ways. I’ve observed from the sidelines as this damage showed up in how family treat one another. How their BELIEF is holding them back from a more meaningful relationship.
Fortunately, there is a way that family could let go of the “story” they hold so tightly, even as it shackles them to their pain and keeps family estranged. First, they must be willing to admit: “I am willing to be open.” And “I admit my belief is not serving me.”
There are always two sides to these “stories” and both can be “true” to each side. In order to avoid perpetuating this pain they must be willing to view it from the other person’s perspective. To do that they must let go of being “right” and to really “hear” each other with compassion and empathy.
Tell me you don’t want to be a game-changer in 2018, when it could mean restoring a relationship you desired with a family member you might have disowned.
Tell me you don’t want to Stand for creating a remarkable family relationship. Tell me you don’t want to Stand for knowing that you can release your pain and suffering. Tell me you don’t want to Let IT go! Tell me that you don’t want to let go of your BELIEF, which is not serving you.
I stand in the possibility that you can be a game changer. What are you waiting for? If you change your attitude you can change your reality. I dare you to Stand for a healthy and happy relationship with your Dad, mother, sister, brother, nephew, nieces, and cousins. Believe me, transformation does happen every day. Stand in the possibility that your relationship can be transformed and I will absolutely support you in that.
Happy New Year!