Outside his Comfort

Our kitchen sink faucet was leaking, and every time I used it, I would be drenched.  It basically needed to be replaced, so I went to Home Hardware and bought a new faucet. I placed it on the counter next to the sink.

It didn't take hubby long to get the hint, he being a smart guy and all.

 There was a lot of cussing and grumbling and more grumbling.  Water was leaking and spraying all over him and onto the kitchen floor.  "I hate this!" he kept muttering under his breath.  He needed a new part, so off he went to buy it.  He returned with the required part and a new attitude.  He said, I am doing this without any drama.

Wait for it... drum roll!

He did!!!

Sometimes, even a lawyer can keep his cool under the sink, dripping wet.  Who needs a plumber when you have a handy guy around the house who takes a step outside his comfort zone to please his wife. :)

Extraordinary Surprises

Vancouver Island, BC

I just returned from a whirlwind trip to Vancouver Island. It didn’t start off as a pleasure trip.

 

It began with a startling text message from my sister, Rose, who was in an extremely perilous health condition.  Having just been informed by her internist that she was at risk of dying because her liver was not working.  I acted quickly and emailed another sister, Mary, the subject line of my email was “road trip?” 

Without hesitation she responded by booking her flight, and we agreed to meet in Victoria, BC and drive up together for the 3-hour drive to Port Alberni where our sister was hospitalized.  We had no idea what we would be seeing when we got there, but you can imagine that our thoughts were rapidly creating all sorts of scenarios, and, all of them grave. I even packed black clothes in case the trip ended with a funeral.

Not letting the seriousness of the situation get us down, we decided not to tell our sister we were coming to visit her.  I think, partly because we didn’t want to draw too much attention to the seriousness of her situation, and partly because in my family we always love to surprise one another.

That morning in Victoria, BC, I texted Rose to let her know that I was going on a weekend drive, and my sister Mary also texted her saying she was going for a drive.  Both of us live about 2500 miles apart, so we hoped she wouldn’t connect the dots.  Hee, hee, hee!!!

When we got close to the hospital we sent another text, mine stated: "Done my drive, now I will be visiting.  Love you."   Mary’s text was “Thinking of you sis, and feeling so close to you.”  She responded to Mary’s text saying, “discomfort by the bloating.”  Mary texted back, “You need a distraction!”

 

Within minutes after the last text we were in her room.  She was nowhere to be found; we looked around the ward and then went back to her room.  She was in the bathroom. Whew!  We drew the curtains around her bed and waited, and when she moved the curtain back she saw us.  Her eyes were as big as saucers, and her smile lit up the room.

Mary on left, Rose on right

 

But she was horribly yellow with jaundice, which made the whites of her eyes a yellowish colour, the likes of which I’ve never seen before.  The results of her blood tests indicated that she was close to succumbing to a coma. My heart sank, knowing that she was indeed in a very critical condition. However, it was encouraging to see that she was walking of her own accord and eating.  She was placed on a low protein diet.

When I saw her dinner, I must say I was not surprised, but still I could not believe what she was served on her “special diet”.  On her tray were battered fried fish, mashed potatoes, waterlogged vegetables, canned fruit cocktail, and a glass of milk.  I could only describe the food as dead.   The food had been prepared in Toronto, all the way across the country, frozen, and then thawed on the west coast, where there is no shortage of fresh fish and other nutritious local foods.  I know all hospital food is frozen then reheated at the hospitals. This is a cost saving method at the expense of the patient’s health when they most require nutrient for healing.

Fortunately, I was in a position to provide Rose with fresh pressed juices from The People's Juicery in Vancouver, BC.  She had ten 16 oz. bottles of cold-pressed juice, enough for two days.  She immediately went on a two-day juice fast, drinking water in between the life-giving green juices.

 

Rose after I cut her hair with her bottle of
cold-pressed juice from The People's Juicery

After two days of drinking cold-pressed green juices, Rose’s blood test showed a great improvement and her doctor was astonished at the change in their readings. She was discharged from hospital a couple of days later.

Food is indeed medicine! If I had any reservations before this, they are certainly dismissed now.  Although, I admit that the fact that we, and other people, who prayed and who visited her also gave her healing energy that help in the healing process. 

We left our sister light-hearted, knowing that she was healing in an extraordinary and natural fashion. A trip that began ominously, ended with laughter, and a promise of a brighter future for Rose.  It's important to remember what we put into our body becomes us, so, eat whole living foods.  It's never too late to adjust your taste buds towards a healthier diet.  :)

In Search of a Bowl of Sunshine

This acai bowl made at home! 

The last week of February we had a huge snowfall in the capital region. This snowfall surpassed a record set in 1967, as I understand.  The snow was so slick, wet and heavy, which resulted in many accidents.  Cars got stuck within minutes of parking to pick up students in the school parking lot.  Whilst I waited, I observed a few high school students going to several cars to push them out of the snow. The snow showed no mercy, falling as though making the point you can’t mess with Mother Nature and we should all have stayed in bed.  Hopefully, this will mark the last we’ll experience a winter storm of this magnitude, being only three weeks until spring.  

As I Waited, I found myself daydreaming of warmer and calmer times. Specifically,  our Christmas Hawaiian trip, which was just a couple of months earlier.

 

Sweet memories, of sun, sand, and the sound of the ocean surf came flooding to mind.  I love the feel of the heated sand under my toes, and then to have a delicious cold something, something,  to eat. Which got me to thinking about a favorite pastime in Kauai, Hawaii. Taste testing acai bowls from different establishments on the island.

What is an acai (Ah-sigh-ee) bowl?  It is a bowl of sunshine, truth be told!  The purple super fruit is from Brazil.  If you are not familiar with acai’ bowl, it is a dish that for the most part is consumed for breakfast.  But it can be enjoyed any time of the day or evening.  The ingredients are granola, a fruit blend smoothie, which includes acai, and toped, with some fresh fruit slices, placed in a nice big bowl.  There are no rules, leaving creations limited only by the imagination of the individual. However, it is my opinion that taste is enhanced knowing about the  nutrient benefits especially if all ingredients are organic.  Certainly knowing that the acai bowl, which is filled with antioxidants, omega-3s and amino acids all things that are good for you, makes this wonderfully enjoyable amazon treat quilt free.  I'm telling you, when you experience that first bite, crunchy with a burst of cold and creamy sweetness, this can  absolutely enhance your happiness and contentment level. It will make your day! 

The bowls from three places on Kauai that met my discriminating taste buds are:    

Aloha Juice Bar in Princeville, HI

This fruit stand is visually so appealing with bright colors of fresh fruit.  The acai bowls are a nice size, with a large serving of granola, fruit and acai.  I enjoyed it and would have been my favorite.  However, when told that there was a strawberry allergic person in our group, and then to be served a bowl with obvious bits of strawberry mixed with the other fruit.  Not cool.  Not cool at all!

Moloa’s Sunrise Juice Bar

This place beside the highway is by far an island favorite!  The generous plate serving size is not match by anyone on the island.  The food is fresh, attractively plated and so tasty good.  And the cold coconut milk is thirst quenching on a hot day. My acai bowl, however, was more on skimpy side, hardly no granola.  I personally love the crunch of the granola and I like more than one type of fruit as topping. So I asked for papaya for an additional fee. 

The Coconut juice bar and café

Best Acai Bowl in Kauai, Hi 2013

We almost missed this place and must have driven by it many times in the previous ten days on the way to the beach.  Set back on a corner lot, with lonely empty picnic tables in front.  But the girls while on their bike ride earlier decided to stop there to enjoy a shave ice.  And wouldn’t you know it, the topping for the shave ice was natural organic fruit juiced.  No sugar added!!!  Wow. 

If they put that much effort into a shave ice what would they do with an acai bowl, I wondered.  They didn’t disappoint.  As it turn out this quickly became my favorite place on the island to enjoy an acai bowl.  Unfortunately, we discover it on our last day. 

The bowl was a healthy size. Lots of granola, a combination of three different fruits, and the acai smoothie was so thick and absolutely delicious.   Yummy.  It is not only a healthy meal, but it is appealing visually too.  After all, they say we eat with our eyes first. Yeah, that's what they say.  

Oh, speaking of visually yummy, I had an awesome kale salad at Rainbow  Living Foods, in Kapa'a.  Also on my last day in Kapa'a.  

Kale Salad

On a snowy, stormy, wintery, February  afternoon watching cars being pushed out of the snow, is one time living in the past, totally worth it.   

Not Just a Pet

Dogs lived in the hills behind our house in Doghead, Fort Chipewyan, Alberta.  I don’t recall them ever being allowed in the house, even in the -30C degrees in the dead of a northern Alberta winter.  The best analogy I can give of our team of dogs is that they were employees.  Work dogs.  Sled dogs.  Dogs were essential aspect of the Denesuline since the mid 1850’s; they packed food and were used as transportation.  Our dogs, in exchange for their loyal work, were well cared for. They were all very healthy, and by all accounts, very happy dogs. 

The distinct smell of certain type of dog food transports me to our little kitchen watching as my dad stirred a big pot of dog food on top the wood burning stove.  The only dog I remember playing with was Curly.  She was the breeder and had special privileges like not being tied up in the hills. I have very fond memories of her and how special she was to our family. We also had another domestic dog, which my big sister brought home from the mission one summer.  

   

I never thought I would own a big breed dog, certainly, not one that would share the house.  Since we no longer required dogs to haul our stuff and transport us what was their job in today’s society, I mused.  Their purpose, I soon realized was a surprise that was literally a breakthrough in how I relate to dogs now.

 

When our son was two he wanted a dog. Hubby and I discussed the possibility of having a dog.  I was adamant that if we got a big dog, this dog would have to live outside.  I’m sure he must have thought I was crazy.  Hubby held his ground and said, if we got a dog he would live in the house. This called for an extensive research on breeds and I read up on many different breeds. Finally we settled on a standard poodle.  I liked the fact that standard poodles don’t shed and are known for their intelligence, but more importantly they are also known to live with children without aggression.

 

Bodhi 2 months old and Andrew 2 years old

We fell in love with Bodhi (Bodhisattva) immediately.  He was a two-month fluffy ball of energy when we picked him up.  

His energy just increased as he got older. In our area, I was known as the lady with the bouncing poodle.  He was so excited and loved to bounce up and down, sometimes backwards.

Bodhi has an amazing personality with powers to make the most apprehensive person feel safe with him. Everyone who met him, fell in love with him.  He was smart too. Once when he was younger, he took his stuff toy and placed it on our son’s bed.  Then he took Andrew’s teddy bear and placed it on his matt.  I would never imagine that he could think of exchanging toys with Andrew.  And of course, his “work” in the family is to make people feel happy, comfortable, and safe.  He does his job extremely well. 

Which is why what he went through in December was difficult to watch.  On July 6, 2012 he turned 12.  Early in December I noticed Bodhi being unsteady on his feet and a weakness and slow movements navigating stairs.  I took him to our local vet.  He basically said he is getting old and this was expected in older dogs.  He sold me new food that is supposed to help.  Bodhi loved the new food. 

Then about two weeks later, after coming in from outside, Bodhi appeared unsteady on his feet again.  Then just as suddenly he had no control over his front limbs. Every time he tried to stand he fell back down. As you can imagine witnessing this was so scary.  

Thankfully, both hubby and I were home at the time. Hubby was on a conference call with clients, and he immediately said, “Something is wrong with our dog. I got to go.”  We wasted no time taking him to the vet.  After an x-ray and blood test didn’t reveal anything, we decided to take him to the Animal Hospital for further test. After a battery of test, he was diagnosed with a compressed disc that was pinching his nerve and cut off blood to his front limbs. Evidently this is common in big dogs, and is sometimes called disc herniation. 

We were so impressed with the Alta Vista Animal Hospital. Straight away he was assigned a neurologist.  Within a few hours, he had a MRI, surgery, and was in recovery.  Private Medicare at work for our four-legged patient got two thumbs up from us.  I am please to write that Bodhi is getting back to his old self and continues to get stronger daily. 

Bodhi 2012

This experience revealed that Bodhi is part of our family in the real sense, we feared for him.  As we took care of him in his recovery, it was clearer to me that he is connect to us on a very deep level and his life is just as precious to us as our own.  I now can relate to people who think of their pets as their “children”.  Indeed, the transition from “work” dog to integration into being a true family member surprised me as I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions with the prospect of losing him.  I know that when the time comes we will make whatever decision to be respectful and in honor of Bodhi.  

He is and always will be our Bodhisattva!  

Update: May 24, 2013 Bodhi left our world @6:35 pm.  He will live forever in our hearts.  Bodhi you were the very best and we love you dearly.  We were all with him, even my brother Rossi, when he transitioned to the next phase of his journey.  <3 i="" nbsp="">

   

Respect and Honor

I like to pretend that people live forever because the alternative is too cruel to embrace. The truth is that I must face reality and that reality is of my mortality and that of all living beings.  The only thing I can do is to seize it tightly, letting the emotions surface and accept the tears as they flow freely.  One of my brothers said to me after I heard about my other brother’s death earlier this month: “We are born, live, and die, alone.”  It only took me a second to understand what he meant.

We experience life independently from others.  Our perspective is shaped by our brief time on this earth.  No two experiences are the same, even if we experience the event with someone.

 

The news of my brother’s passing literally stopped my breath.  My reality crumbled and shattered into tiny pieces.  I had no control. The immense pressure was too strong to ignore; I could physically feel my world disappearing. At the moment I caught my breath and the realization sunk in that my life would continue without my brother, Billy, and my life was forever changed. The next few days I was in a daze as I began to go through the motions of saying good bye to Billy. 

The family went into immediate action, taking care of the million things that need to be done.  This process and all the activities I understand now are designed to reinforce the acceptance of death.  Picking the grave plot. Preparing the wake.  Praying, praying, praying so hard.  Scheduling the church service.  Identifying someone to do the eulogy, the reading of verse, singing and drumming.  Finally, as the body is slowly leaving the church, drums beating rhythmically in step as we said our final farewell, mingled with tears and sobs.  Knowing that this is final, small bursts of emotion ripple throughout the mourners.  The end. Gone forever.  All that remains is what is in our heart and memory, souvenirs to be safeguarded.   

For me, this entire practice reinforced the value of tradition.  Why we do certain things and the manner in which we do them.  Why it is important to do everything with respect and honour.  I now understand there is a dual purpose for undertaking certain rituals.  It is for the recently departed and for those left grieving.

I believe it is important that everyone affected by the death ought to take an active part in these rituals.  Not only by attending the wake and funeral but by contributing, either by helping out in the preparation of the space where the body will lay during the wake, or cleaning up, setting up the chairs. Even something as little as perhaps serving tea and coffee to the family as they mourn is helpful. 

Furthermore the significance of food preparation has to be contemplated. Why do we do this? Preparing food for the wake and feast is an honour.  It does not have to be elaborate, only that it be done keeping in mind this is the last meal you will offer the deceased. In my Dene culture, the drumming, prayers, and food are all meant to help the transition into the spirit world. 

It is clear that actively participating in the process helps the living accept the recent death. Not only that but it unites the people grieving.  In the doing, we know that everything we are doing for the loved one, who passed, is to assist in their continued journey into the spirit world.   As we do, we contemplate our relationship with them, we remember stories, and we say good-bye. Someone suggested we arrange the chairs in a circle, and we went clockwise as each one of us told stories of their relationship with Billy.  Some were funny stories, and it was nice to think about him in shared laugher.  Billy was an ironic man, and enjoyed playing jokes on people.  He wear a big smile and glint in his eye that always served to lighten my day no matter what he was going through. 

I feel like these mourning rituals are essential.  And to be part of this is a spiritual ritual is an enormous honour.  it is important that the younger generation learn the traditions.  To learn the meaning behind these rituals, the prayers, the songs, and the preparation of food are all part of the ceremony.  We owe it our loved ones and to ourselves to ensure that they are given a respectful wake and funeral. 

1951-2012

God Speed my dear brother Billy. 

Life Choices

A beautiful young woman

I am extremely sad.

 

I normally blog about the lighter side of my life, but today I need to express my frustration, my anger, and my deep sadness. I  am an emotional roller coaster of emotion the last few days, and I am a wreck. 

A couple of days ago my niece was admitted to hospital.  Overnight her condition worsened and she was placed into the intensive care unit (ICU).  Late into the evening the next day she was flown to the University Hospital in Edmonton after her condition continued to deteriorate to the point that she required life support. It didn’t need to be this way.

She is in her thirties.

 

She is a mother.

She is a wonderful person with a bright smile and a kind heart.

She is an alcoholic. 

My frustration stems from feeling helpless. My anger is from wishing she had made better choices, and my sadness, is acknowledging that she is powerless against the disease, which is alcoholism.  This is a disease that is preventable. And it only makes life look hopeless.  

Alcoholism has plagued my family for as long as I can remember.  The difficulty for me is watching while my family wage their personal battles with alcoholism . The battle is sometimes won, but not always.  The battle continues as they fall victim to it again and again.  It is one day-at-a-time practice and the goal being to never give up on sobriety because there is always hope and a new beginning. There is always another day, never give up. 

There must be so much pain. When did all the pain begin? Was it because of residential schools? Was it the loss of our indigenous language and traditional lifestyle? Is it intergenerational trauma? Did it escalate after we tried to mask the pain, which created more pain? Did it have to do with racism? Low self-esteem? When will it end?  

I admit that I don’t understand it.  I don’t appreciate what it's like to walk in their shoes. I don’t know what it feels like to crave that drink in spite of what it means and how it will impact us and the people we love most.

What I do know is that it's not a fight you take on alone.  The truth is people are hurting and in pain. A pain that is hidden behind smiles and laughter.  A supportive loving and compassionate system is the only chance to win this battle. It takes a community.  Family.  Friends.  People who can help you face the difficult truth.  

Most importantly you must love unconditionally.  And by that I mean you need to demonstrate your love not by encouraging them to join in the “party” thinking that after "a few" you'll not be hurting anyone.  But rather by being there for them when they are sober.  Being there for them when they are weak.  Being there to listen. And being there to say the hard truth while letting them know that their life holds value. 

In happier times!

My niece is fighting for her life.  She is demonstrating with her life the very real possibility where this lifestyle could take you.  If, she makes it through, she is going to need support because she can never have another drop of alcohol for the rest of her life.  Which on the whole is not a bad thing.  If she doesn't make it, this will be a terrible tragedy and a huge loss for our family. 

Still, either way, if you have this problem, I challenge you to make a commitment to her that you won’t follow her into the lifestyle that had her in her prime end up in the hospital fighting for her life.  If you can do that, perhaps her tragedy will not have been in vain. The cycle of alcohol and drug abuse, including prescription drugs, must end. 

Follow Up April 3, 2012

I am pleased to write that she is living a great life without alcohol.  Life is not easy, but without alcohol she has one less complication. Newly engaged, and enjoying everyday, feeling blessed, and is making the best  of her second chance in life. She has two beautiful grandchildren.  Living life and helping out with her mom who has dementia.

When you see her, give her a hug and let her know she is loved.

Friday's What the Heck / Where has the Summer Gone

Here we are, already it’s August 3rd with only 32 days before school year begins for some of our children. 

In Ottawa the weather thus far is amazing… if, that is, you’re not a plant or an animal who enjoys this hot draught weather. In all things there should be balance. But the weather has been extremely hot and dry. Yup, beginning in June the temperature has barely dipped below the 25 Celsius and coupled with below levels of rain made this one of the hottest summers ever.  In fact, Ottawa has had a drought level 2 for most of the summer.  I’ve never seen the Ottawa River this low before.

The pool covered with cement dust!

For me, the frustrating part of this summer has been waiting for the pool repairs to be completed.  

The target date for completion was by hubby's birthday in mid June.  As I write this post, the concrete having been poured yesterday, the men are doing something out there, not sure what, other than making a lot of noise with a saw and spewing clouds of fine dust everywhere, including into the pool (not sure why they didn't cover the pool). How long is it going to take to clean the pool, I wonder as the layers of dust settle on the pool surface.  

Friday before another long weekend and we are without a swimming pool, and once again, the weather is expected to be hot. In fact, according to our national paper, Ottawa public health issued a heat warning as the forecast called for humidex levels of above 40 Celsius on Saturday and Sunday. Whew! 

On the bright side, can't wait for next week when the pool will finally be done, leaving us with the balance of summer and perhaps even the fall of pool time.  

Meanwhile, thankfully, we do have air-conditioning!

And a river!

And, I bought a new vehicle! Now, hubby can have his car back. And I must say hubby gives it two thumbs up. That means a lot  because, he, of course, has great taste in cars. You can read about his car here. 

my new ride!

A Range Rover, Evoque is a dream car. But I didn't buy the special edition Victoria Beckham one!  Still, I am stoked and immediately it called for a road trip. So, off I drove with Andrew to Montreal, where he was taking a two-week summer course.

Simply the best cake!

Montreal is fantastic!  On our first evening there we ordered in from room service and Andrew had the best chocolate cake ever. Of course, in the following days he  had compared other chocolate cakes from around Montreal, but nothing measured up to this one. 

I enjoy the friendly people, the scenery, and going to all the places we went to last summer. My favorite, place was “Café Smoothie” in Pointe Claire.  Each day after Andrew was done for the day we would slowly drive along the beautiful lake to Cafe Smoothie. He would have a mango smoothie, and I, would have fresh carrot and apple juice.  It was yummy,  but I think I'm turning a shade of orange. LoL!

Andrew got into reading the Hunger Games while we were in Montreal.  After he completed reading chapters, we would listen to the audio book up to the point he had read, in the car (a good reason to drive around in my Evoque!). Admittedly, finding any excuse to drive around was not too difficult.

I think the reason summer appears to go faster than any other season is because we do different things in the summer.  We change our routine. We do things we enjoy, like hanging out and visiting with people, sleeping in, and this summer watching the Summer Olympics.  The energy of the olympians is so inspiring! 

Taking my time by being present, savoring each and every delicious moment.   My app for meditation is insight timer, which lets me know I'm not meditating alone. The design of the app is  insightful providing information on who is meditating with me world-wide.  No matter what time I meditate, I know I'm not alone.  It also keeps stats of my meditation times, and allows me to journal my sessions. I love this app!  

I hope you are all enjoying your summer too!