Friday, February 26, 2010

A Final Good-bye


Dr. Francis (Frank/Pete) Abbott, April 12,1928 -February 25,2010

Dearest Friend and Neighbor,

Yesterday, February 25, 2010 I was told of your death. It saddens me deeply that you will no longer walk this earth. I admit though, it was not unexpected, after all you have been experiencing considerable problems associated with aging.

In particular, your quality of life in the past year was difficult for you to accept without a fight. Especially because you were someone who was so active throughout life. Mostly, I think, the fact that you had to rely on others for basic assistance for your daily routine made it that much more distressing. Your body was failing, but yet you felt you should still be doing the things you did several months ago. Hell, not just several months ago, but years ago. You talked recently about taking my son canoeing in the summer. You really had a very strong will, and maybe it could have happened. I know it must have been hard to reconcile the two, making living each day more unbearable. But yet you fought a good fight. Your frustration was evident in your eyes even when you didn’t complain.

I am sure you appreciated though that you were able to live in that beautiful place by the Ottawa River for as long as you did. I have many fond memories of sitting in the screened in porch enjoying the river view in your company. So, dear friend, I do understand and appreciate why your home gave you peace and comfort.

I want you to know that you were the best neighbor I could have asked for, kind, gentle, and an amazing conversationalist. As soon as we met you made us feel part of your family. I will cherish the memory of our Sunday dinners and the stories of your adventures from near and afar.

I will always be grateful that you were part of our life. Good bye Friend! (inside joke / He sang this on his answering machine)

7 comments:

DUTA said...

Sorry for the loss of your kind neighbor. Your post is a very nice tribute to him.

May his soul rest in Peace!

Angelina said...

Duta,

Thank you for your kind comment.

Frank will be missed by many I have no doubt about it.

f8hasit said...

What a touching tribute to a good friend and neighbor.
Even as people age and we know their time is limited, it's still hard to grasp that one day it'll be our neighbors hopefully writing nice sentiments about our stay with them.

Sorry for your loss.

Angelina said...

Thank you Nancy for you comment.

What gives me comfort in times of loss is Thich Nhat Hanh's wisdom;

Q.What would you say to someone, for example, who has someone close die? How should they understand what's happened?

A. Suppose you are impressed with a particular cloud in the sky. When it is time for that cloud to become the rain you won't see that cloud anymore and you will cry. But if you know that the cloud has been transformed into the rain and the rain is calling you, "Darling, I am here, I'm here," if you have that kind of capacity of recognizing the continuation of that manifestation, you don't have to live in despair and grief.
That is why for those who have lost someone who is close to him or to her I advise that they look deeply within and see that the one who was close is still there, somehow, and with the practice of deep looking they can recognize his or her presence very close to him or to her.

Alice said...

Angelina, thank you for this enlightening and heartwarming perspective of my father. It is gratifying to know that others, not just his children, cared for him so much, and valued him. Your description is so rich and deep, it helps bring the man back to life for me, at this time when I am missing him so much.

Angelina said...

Dear Alice,

Thank you for you comment.

Your dad was an amazing man and shared many gifts with our family, in particular his stories, intellect, and his wicket sense of humor. In fact, we were going to start recording our dinner conversations after Christmas but his health declined and we were unable to.

I am grateful that we were able to join you and your family to celebrate his 80 birthday a couple of years ago. He appeared to really be enjoying being the center of attention.

He was a benefactor of Andrew's Books, and each year he always told Andrew how proud he was of him.

We miss him, and can only imagine the void he has left in your hearts. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Makk said...

Its nice to read.

Frankly speaking I don't feel people die.

They just transform.

but its nice to see you shared a nice time with your neighbor.

Keep smiling.

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