I love summer. I especially love summer weddings. There were two weddings in my family this summer. Two very different couples. One, a young couple embarking on their first wedding and the other, an older more mature couple, going down the aisle for the third time each. These weddings were as different as night and day from each other. One was at a high-end resort hotel and the other in a community hall. One wedding was very formal and the other more casual. But something they both shared was stress, one more than the other, but stress none-the-less. And both wedding parties had their share of drama.
The anticipation leading up to the big day is so palpable you can slice it with a wedding cake knife. The optimism, excitement, anticipation, and some old fashion anxiety tied together with a pure happiness bow that sums up weddings in a nutshell. A mammoth ball of emotions!
Are any of these emotions minimized if the couple is older and have taken the leap of faith before? I would say absolutely not. Young or older, a wedding makes the world seem like all things great are possible. A young couple and an older more experience couple both see the world through rose colored glasses and their emotions are reflected in that hue. A bride is never more beautiful as on the day of her wedding, don’t you agree? Her eyes hold the promise of a forever magical love.
However, the stress of a wedding can result in the worst day ever for some couples. It is my observation that the amount of angst associated with weddings can be correlated with the amount time to plan and the size of the wedding. The longer the planning and higher number of guests, the greater the emotional ups and downs. And more importantly, the more likely the couple is to continue with the wedding even if they have some reservations. There comes a point where there is no turning back. However, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, the people who really count are the bride and groom. Really, what is the point, do they really need to start off their marriage under such stressful circumstances? Even the weddings that unfold without a hitch are stressful until the I dos. There is always a possibility that something can go awry.
Still, committed couple should get married, and maybe the tasks associated with getting married will serve them well as they begin their journey together as man and wife.
My advice is to keep it small and intimate.
I remember my wedding day like it was yesterday. I wasn’t nervous as I sat in my fiancé’s kitchen sipping tea, the sun beaming through the skylight. We had plenty of time as we sat reading the paper. The phone rang, his mother called to tell us she had our flowers and we realized we better get ready.
We decided to elope and only a small group of friends were going to be in attendance. I didn’t even tell anyone in my family until the night before, leaving them no time to fly in to attend if they wanted to. Of course, I got the “speech” but really I knew it was because they had my best interest in their hearts. The only people who knew about our plan were our cohort, out respective assistents who coordinated the event between our two cities. They had the utmost discretion and no one was the wiser at either of our work places. Real loyalty.
Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. We had a beautiful low keyed wedding. I loved that we did it for us, (even if not a bit selfish), it was romantic and naughty sneaking around as we planned. Although I admit, on the flip side, we robbed some family of celebrating this special day with us. Still, we managed to eliminated all the pressures associated with having to please everyone, coordinating peoples' schedule, and not to mention the expense of a big wedding.
And, we had money not spent on a big wedding to enjoy several exotic honeymoons in Paris, Hawaii, Australia, South America and Fiji over several years before Andrew was born. So, I opted to forgo a big swanky wedding, and enjoyed instead a fansy assed eight course dinner at the Le Jules Vernes in the Eiffel Tower, Paris. Dinner was spectacular!
Our motto durning our short courtship was make it - Easy, Fun and Uncomplicated! Eighteen years later that is still our motto. Wishing the newly weds an easy, fun and uncomplicated marriage.